Choices

So as you may have gathered, the dress choices for me were greatly narrowed by the selection and service in various shops over two/three months. It came down to Eden Bridal in Enniscorthy and Town Bride in Powerscourt. It's a pity I couldn't get the dress from Eden and the finish from Town because the finished work from Colm & the girls there looked just amazing. But, the dress in Eden won out overall and I will be handing Hilda a pile of cash early in 2010 when she delivers The Dress.

Massive relief to get that hurdle out of the way so that's three major things down now. Dress, ceremony venue, location for meal afterwards - all in the bag. Now to relax over the Christmas and then start worrying about invitations and little things in the new year. Unless of course the venue gets flooded or something in which case...I'm eloping.

Dublin Wedding Shops

So... Bridal stores in our great capital. They had a lot to live up to, and in sum, they fell well short!

I said I would name and shame and I have no problem doing that. I won't go on for ages about what was wrong with the places because I simply don't want to be a complete mare. Maybe I caught them on a bad day, maybe they're feeling the pressure of the recession, maybe they have had it too good for too long. They don't seem to mind treating their customers like second class citizens because they think another queue of girls with fistfuls of cash in their hands are going to bring up the rear. Only one shop was I truly impressed with in Dublin City.

So first up was Sharon Hoey (Upper Mount St), a shop which gave you 40-45 mins. Not a bad selection of dresses but a poorly qualified floor staff who were no help at all in guiding you to what styles they had in store, which might suit you. To make things a little more awkward, it's a very small shop which takes three appointments at the one time, meaning you have a gaggle of strangers staring at you as you are trying to see if this is the dress for you. Hmm. Sales training required for the old shop girls methinks. Plus a different person at the door (could have been Sharon herself, we were not introduced) calling out prices and pushing the "we're selling them at sterling prices because of the recession so book fast" sort of thing...

Next up, Bridal Wraptures on St Stephen's Green. I have heard very mixed reviews of this store from different girls. Some thought they were snooty, some lovely. I think it depends on who you are lucky/unlucky enough to be landed with when you walk in the door. I have been in twice, once when they were operating as normal and once when they were having a big sample sale. I have since heard a rumour that they are closing down so if you have your eye on a sample give the girls a shout. The dresses - some are in rag order, some are still shiny - so you may be lucky. Shame they are going out of business (if it's true!); one of the girls in there was really nice. They may not have been extremely helpful but if they are in financial difficulty then you can understand a lack of interest in their job at this point.

deStafford Bridal on Exchequer Street in the city centre...oh my gawd. MOST unpleasant experience of them all. We arrived about 5 mins early for our appointment and were glared at, eyes rolled to heaven, the works. We sat on the couch to wait our turn, and were told to go and look around. We did so, and the dresses were pretty awful. I'm sure they were lovely when they left the designers' but these ones were ripped, filthy, and most unfortunately - rammmmmmmed into the rails so that it was difficult to get a good look at any. Most of the staff of four were dependent on one single colleague to do everything - take calls on the phone as she was meant to be squeezing a girl into a dress, talk to drop-in customers at the door, answer queries on orders that were arriving - the whole shebang. She wasn't the owner, just the most hard working person in the place. And as hard as she was working I was very far from impressed. The floor was filthy so no wonder the dresses were so dirty - they hadn't a hope. In the changing room there were pins and discarded packaging all over the place, it was horrible! Ugh, being in bare feet between dresses was NOT fun! The changing room is in the middle of the shop, with the mirror in front of the window so passers by can see in. No bother in a backstreet but Exchequer St? Your mates could be passing!!! Anyway, after arriving 5 mins early we were left high and dry until 20 mins past our appointment time. As I mentioned - the one girl doing any work was pretty busy! I felt sorry for her, but then she started talking up lots of different local suppliers and I felt like she must have been on commission. Bless her if she was genuinely trying to be helpful, but it just came across as pushy. Needless to say I gave up on the final few dresses and just wanted to get out of there.

Berketex is over in the Jervis Street Centre and has quite a nice setup. They only take 2 appointments at a time so it's not as bad as Hoey's over in Dublin 2. The dresses are not that expensive but alas, they look it. I felt a lot of the dresses looked really, really cheap. I'm all for a bargain but I don't want to look like one on my wedding day!! What I will say is that they hold more than one size in their more popular styles, which I think is a brilliant idea - I wish more places could do that. I realise it's expensive but we B2B's come in all shapes and sizes... I went with a friend, who is very petite. I can only wish I was so! We have similar tastes in dresses so it was great that the same dresses were there in 2 sizes. They also had a wide variety of styles, colours and uber tacky accessories. What I did NOT at ALL like was how incredibly pushy the sales people were. They were SO pushy!! Putting us both under pressure to buy a dress, hoping to panic us into a sale. Not impressed. Seriously girls, you are not selling cars... Nice clean shop though. And you can bring as many little helpers as you like. (see, I am trying to be nice here...)

Last but not least, was the King of Wedding Dresses, Colm Flanagan in Town Bride. The man is a wonder; he starts from scratch and talks you through entire styles. Takes a look at you, measures up your shape and guides you away from racks full of dresses that he can tell just won't suit. What a breath of fresh air... We spent less than an hour with him and came away reassured that I would not look like a crazy person on the big day. His subtle tips and gentle nudges in the right direction...just magic. The sample dresses in Town Bride (which is in the Powerscourt Centre) come in without bones, which means they are easier to get in and out of, and then they are easier to close in the way that they will look when they are boned. I saw a finished dress just ready for collection when I was there - they do all their own alterations in-house - and the finish was exquisite. I was really, really impressed with the level of service at Town Bride. I only wish I had found my dress there!

Moral of the story folks...don't take my word for it, give the half-bad ones a second chance to redeem themselves, but prepare not to be totally wowed everywhere you go in the city. The only one I would hang a warning sign on is deStafford's, they were utter rubbish. I'd also like to hang a neon sign over Powerscourt with a big arrow pointing "go here" for all the worried brides out there who need some style advice - with no pressure to buy, none at all.

I'm not linking to the bad sites, they don't deserve the traffic. And Town Bride doesn't appear to have a website...

Even more Wedding Dresses!

So I went half way down the N11 last time I toured the bridal circuit - this time I went all the way to the end of the road to find some frills sans puffs 'n' meringues.

First up was Marianne's Bridal in Wexford Town, a tiny shop on Selskar Court (near the Redmond Sq. end of town). Met with Marianne herself on a rainy Saturday morning - she's a lovely lady. Her shop is a little small so there is really only room for one bride & (just) her mum at the one time. Even when it came to getting me into some of the more intricate gowns (ribbons & corsets - you need a scissors to get out of them!) - she was tying me in, in the middle of the store, in front of the shop window. I didn't care at that stage - I'm so used to getting prodded into gowns by now that I didn't bat an eyelid but a more shy B2B may get a little uncomfortable. The shop floor, because it's so cluttered, is rammed full with dresses. Marianne does a lovely collection of formal wear in addition to the wedding dresses - debs dresses and gorgeous bridesmaids. The shop wasn't really my cup of tea and her selection wasn't great - although excellent value for money. I couldn't fault Marianne herself for enthusiasm! They also didn't have a loo, she said they got rid of it to make more space(!) which was a bit of a pain - I always find that after I've been shoved into gúnas too small for me that I...you know...need to go. It's the little things in life... TMI? Sorry!

Second on the list was Eden Bridal in Enniscorthy. Hilda & Co. used to have a shop in Gorey but it got too cluttered - so Hilda built a custom designed wedding-heaven on land in Clohass, just outside Enniscorthy. Bring a map, or borrow a GPS! Because I kid you not - it's worth it. You buzz in, electric gates open, up the driveway you go to be met with a fountain. To the right of the fountain you abandon the car and venture into what can only be described as an Aladdin's Cave of delight. You are met at the door by a handful of friendly smiling staff and are escorted to your private viewing area. From the reception you walk into a brightly lit airy spacious room (such a contrast to Marianne's, bless her she didn't stand a chance against these guys). The central area of the room has a large guilt edged mirror. Beside that is a large bay window with a display of one or two gowns a groom's attire. Off that central area are 4 different sections. Each section has a long, well lit rail with a lot of dresses on them; each one has enough space so that you're not pulling it out from behind another three. So that's - count 'em - eight long rails full of fun. One is dedicated to the grooms, so that's 7 rails of wedding dresses. Now I will say this - there is almost too much to choose from. But the most amazing thing is - they were apologetic that they could only give me a two hour viewing on a Saturday. Seriously? 30-45 mins in Dublin during the week and Hilda & the girls apologising for only two hours on a Saturday... Ladies, head AWAY from The Pale if you are looking for quality of service... Needs must, I do appreciate, but seriously...

Anyway, about the dresses - they have many. If you like lace - their San Patrick range is expansive and simply lovely. Note: all the dresses are clean and a pleasure to try on. Not grimy and rammed into a tiny rack unsuitable for large gowns. They do The White One, Paloma Blanca, and I can't even remember the rest, there were so many. I had 2 girls in the changing room with me (and there was room for about three more - how refreshing) and they were well turned out, pleasant and very helpful on what styles would suit etc. They are very aware that there are a lot of dresses to choose from, so when you like a particular aspect of one gown, they zoom off and find a similar one to see if you like it. When I walked in I liked the look of one dress on a mannequin in the bay window - by the time I was taking off my runners, it was on a hanger beside the changing room. I hadn't asked them to do that, they just spotted me looking at it. Amazing sales skills on these girls!

Anyway I had a lovely time there, was offered a sample of wedding cake, a glass of champagne or tea/coffee/juice/water - more than once throughout the 2 hours - they also have a lot of information on local florists, etc. if you are getting hitched in Co. Wexford. I left thinking it would be nice to give them the business, as they deserved it the most after all the people I had met.

Last up for Co. Wexford was Glamourize Bridal in Gorey. God bless them but the three sales girls were running about the upstairs shop following me as I was looking around, putting every dress I touched into the changing room so that I could try it on. I didn't even like half of them but they were so enthusiastic I felt obliged. Two of the dresses were nice and had potential, but the samples were grimy and torn, and the shop assistant didn't really have a clue about styles that suit certain shapes or anything at all. Hilda in Enniscorthy, Marianne in Wexford Town, and the three ladies I met in Co. Wicklow were all very helpful in guiding me into dresses that suited me. The girl in Glamourize clearly just wanted to make a sale - she was lovely, but I wouldn't recommend the shop at all. Sorry ladies. She tried very hard, the accessories were nice...I'm trying to find nice things to say because they really didn't do anything wrong, it just didn't suit me at all!

So they are the results from the Wexford Jury. Lots of fun was had with my mum, we had a lovely lunch in Gorey after all that and we departed for home soon after. Gorey is so nice to visit, now that it has been bypassed by the N11. It's much easier to cross the road! And I'm glad to see the town still bustling with business.

More dresses

Yes, the dress hunt has continued in earnest over recent weekends. Boss relaxing the panic measures also means I can plan the occasional afternoon off to view a few goonaz in the capital, reserving the weekends for far flung dress shops.



This weekend was spent in one such selection. Last month saw me go a little further south - to Wicklow - for some inspiration. I visited Antonia's in Blessington who don't seem to have a website but I've linked to a decent page about them. Anneliese is a lovely, lovely person. Patient and fun, insistent that you have a good - relaxed - time in her shop. There isn't a huge selection, but what she has is very nice and it's not a bad place to start for the clueless bride. The prices are very reasonable and the dresses are clean. She makes you feel good about yourself when you stand up on the box!



Next up was Anne Gregory in Newtownmountkennedy, whose website is pretty terrible! I was only given 30 mins there but that was because they were fitting me in at the end of the day so that was nice of them in fairness. Realistically you wouldn't need any more time than that; their selection is not great. The dresses are ok but you are not given much time and I had to ask to actually look at their full selection - they just brought me what they thought would suit. That can be a great service if that's what you're looking for - less confusion! But I just wanted to see what else they had. What I will say as a big plus is that they take care of their dresses very well. You could perhaps even buy one of the samples, they were that clean and looked after. Each one is whisked back under protective plastic before you are into the next one!



Thirdly from Wicklow I visited the lovely Marie McElheron. Marie is a dress designer in addition to stocking a number of labels at her gorgeous - small - studio in Arklow. What I really liked about this visit, in addition to the peaceful calm surroundings, was Marie's gentle advice. I took my time viewing the rack which although not extensive, seemed to have a stronger range than Anne in Newtown. I picked out four dresses to try, and on seeing me in the first couple, Marie made a couple of subtle suggestions which turned out to be really great advice. I began to narrow down the style of dress that suited me, and different small details that would enhance different aspects of my figure. Which she assures me I have, beneath all the wobble I can't stand! She believes the role of the dress is to make you feel comfortable and at ease on the big day, as well as being a statement! She helped to calm me down a lot, which is half the battle I guess. Other shops try to pressure you into talk of deposits and lead times, whereas Marie's opinion is - if you have three weeks, there's a solution out there. If you have three months or three seasons to plan your wedding, don't panic, it will all come together. Great advice.



This weekend I ventured further south into Wexford to see what I could find. Again I went to three shops (I really can't handle more than that in a day, I was exhausted after almost 5 hours of being whooshed into corsets and boleros and straps and halters and...)



I promise to give you the full low down on those three stores in my next post...

Dresses

Comment from The Handsome One upon seeing all the bridal wear mags lying about the sitting room: "Why are none of them smiling? Isn't it meant to be a dress worn on the happiest day of your life? They've all faces like slapped arses! Ted, I'm hugely confused."

So the hunt has begun, in relative earnest what with time getting away from me for a wee while there. I've taken to booking dress-looking appointments en route from work by myself, because coordinating my one diary with that of a dress shop is difficult enough without finding a pal/cousin/parent whose diary is also free. I figure that I can scope out a few nice dresses by myself and then only drag the family/slaves with me when I have something worth seeing. Good idea? Hope so...

It's a bit mad that every single weekend over the last 2 months has been busy, and will remain so for the next 6 weeks at least. So the evenings will just have to do! Also going to book a morning/afternoon off work and hit two shops in a half-day now and again in order to get around more shops. It does mean taking 2 or 3 half days from work but (a) my boss is fabulous and lets me work up the time, and (b) my bride-pals have told me from their experience that the weekdays are far less stressful in dress shops. Not only that but it's not worth trying to fit 15 shops into one Saturday because it's just too much darn hard work getting in and out of those massive gowns.

Gosh I hope some of them aren't massive. I'd love a simple dress with just enough sparkle to match my smile-pings on the day...

More later.

I think I have it! A solution to the ceremony venue problem.

I wrote a good few months ago (here) about trying to decide what venue to choose when it comes to getting married - as in, the ceremony itself.

The main issue for me, was asking some random priest for permission to get married. On 2 counts - one, to marry at all - which everyone has to do. Two, to marry in a venue which is not an RC church - we had to get special dispensation from on high, a bishop or some such.

I'm a (pigheaded) independent person and I really have difficulty with the fact that he or I should have to ask a stranger's permission to get married. Not only that, but in order to obtain said permission, the RC party has to swear that they will do everything in their power to raise any children we may have in the future, as Mini-RC'ers.

Eh, no. Have you seen the church lately? Damien flagged something interesting on Sunday about it. I will not be raising any chizzlers in a church that hasn't sorted itself out yet. And I'm not going to solemnly swear that I will do so either! Why start a marriage on a lie?

Aside: it has been argued that if we really want to marry that we will cross these "hurdles" and be done with it, because being married is the ultimate goal. While I appreciate that sentiment, it [lying in order to get what you want] does not sit well with me so I kept looking.

So, I have found a solution, I think. One that respects both parties. There's an interesting word for the Catholic church to think about when looking inwardly at their own problems...respect! As in, respect your flock...

It is still possible to have a church wedding, without all the above mentioned rigmarole. You can get married in an Anglican Church, with a lovely friendly (open minded) rector who will go through the kind of ceremony you are happy with, incorporating as much religious stuff as you need or want, without having to go to a registry office. If you still have faith but are disgusted with the RC church right now, you don't have to sacrifice your ceremony. According to the chap we met this weekend in our local CoI church, he has married quite a few 100% RC couples who were just miffed with the permission thing and simply wanted to be married in the eyes of the law and in a church. I had no idea this was an option! How lovely! We don't have to quit one church and sign up to another in order to do it, this particular rector was warm, welcoming and friendly - but not in a way that suggests "hehehe, I'll just notch another one up on the flock-register, harhar..."

We have to be aware that "our marriage will not be recognised in the eyes of the Catholic Church" because of a Vatican decree stating that all couples who wish to marry have to get a blessing from a "real" priest etc. etc. but that would be the case if we were getting married in a hotel or registry office by a civil servant, so hey, if this shoe fits... The Vatican doesn't see vicars or rectors or pastors as men of the cloth anyway - never mind the lady vicars (sorry Geraldine!)

I just wanted to share this information here. I think there are a lot more people out there like us, who wish to marry officially without being constrained to the 9-5 of the registry office. It has taken me months to find this solution and I am so happy we have found it. I hope someone who has the same conundrum finds this useful!

Day Five...

I'm still here...haven't faded away...still hungry...

Had zero energy last night and was sorely tempted to eat lots of bread and/or sugar but didn't, thanks to fiancé keeping guard in the kitchen, ha!

Much better today, hurrah, here's hoping I keep it up!