Advice

For the peeps who have got engaged recently, some tips!

1. Get yourself a good Wedding Planner Book.  A nice succinct one - some are over the top, some read like a magazine. This one here has really straightforward worksheets and reminders lists for what you should have done 12, 9, 6, 3, 2 and 1 month before the event itself. Check it over, tick stuff off, bob's your mother's brother.

2. Consider beautiful sillk flowers. Surprisingly inexpensive - same price as the real thing - and so much prettier for so much longer. I have dried my bouquet and it just doesn't look as good as these pretty samples I received some months ago...

3. Be organised and remember to thank the people who put so much into your special day - write lists of what people do for you in the run up, so that you can thank them in the personal cards after the event. It makes it so much nicer for people to receive, they really appreciate it!

4. When you get back from honeymoon, don't forget to send away for your marriage cert!  You will need to prove you are married if you are availing of tax benefits, applying for a new driving licence if you are changing your name - everything.  Plus, it's just nice to have ;)  Legally bound to another forever, woo. 

5. Enjoy your honeymoon, don't forget to take pictures!!  We took so few it's hilarious, the pair of us usually take bajillions of photos everywhere we go, but we were so relaxed just taking it all in that I only have some phone pictures to share!

And then we came home...

And it has been so lovely since we got home. The past three months have been blissful. Not just because we're in "The Honeymoon Zone" - after all we were Living in Sin(!) beforehand.  But because we have time to spend with friends, or just working in our little house, making it nice again after all the wedding madness.  Back to reality?  Back to normality more like.

And.

I.

Love it.

Bride-to-Be Guide to Handling Pre-Wedding Stress

You may as well know, a host of things will probably go wrong as you try to organise your day - big wedding or not. I'm not being pessimistic, just realistic. Suppliers may falter, family may cause hiccoughs, people may pass away unexpectedly, an ash cloud may descend! The point is, you have to be able to take care of yourself and not let all the stress get to you so much that it takes over your life. It's only one day, remember?

Some ways that I have been able to survive:

• Substitute camomile tea for some of your cups of coffee - less jitters, less nerves
• Before you go to sleep, use some lavendar moisturiser on your shoulders, neck and hands so that is soothes you to sleep - you don't have to go to L'Occitane and spend a fortune, Boots have a lovely one!
• If things do start to get to you and you feel anxious all the time, pop into your local pharmacy and talk to the nice ladies behind the counter.  They may recommend a natural plant/herb extract which could help you relax, such as Kalms - they're not that expensive and the wee bottle lasts for ages
• Try to make some non-wedding time for you and your spouse-to-be; by this I mean, go back to something you used to love doing before you got engaged.  Be it a walk on your favourite beach, dinner in your favourite cheap&cheerful, a trip to the IFI or a match in your local GAA/soccer/rugby club to get the blood pumping. It's amazing how helpfully refreshing a match can be. I screamed and roared at Leinster in the RDS last Sunday and felt amazing afterwards - so relaxed!  Forgot all about the venue from hell for 2 hours and just had a blast with my betrothed - cannot recommend it highly enough to ease the stress. 
• Politely ask people who ring you 7 times a day about wedding things, to please not call you quite so often as you are quite busy, and need to structure your wedding-talk time a little more.  So only call at lunchtime or after work about wedding stuff. 
• If it helps - turn off your voicemail!!  Similarly annoying, 7 messages a day when you dial 171 can get to you.  Your mobile beeping, emails whizzing in, landlines hopping - it all works against you to create an atmosphere of pressure when lets face it - that's not what it's meant to be about.

Ultimately, communication is key.  If anything is getting to you, tell the people around you - that's what best friends, bridesmaids, sisters, aunts, grannies, cousins and mums are for.  They love you and will only be too delighted to help in any way they can. Sharing is caring, right?!  

Delegation is also extremely important.  Try to put anything that goes wrong into a category.  If it is family related, get your Pops onto it to help sort it out.  If it is flowers-related, get whoever in your clan is the best gardener to have a word with the florist and sort it out.  If it is food related, get the cuddly-grub-fan in your group of mates to help you with some suggestions.  NB: Ask. For. Help. 

This is not what you want:

You want to be like this!!!!

Or like this!!!

What are you looking for?

I just had a little look to see what people are searching for when they come across this little blog.

Top terms were:
weddings + materialism
weddings + shallow
weddings + sad
weddings + small

I won't mention the others, they were too funny :o)

Anyway, I just wanted to say hello to those searching for a kindred spirit, I hope you find something of use here & if not, let me know where you do find it!

***Channelling happy thoughts of stress-free fuss-free days for all***

***I mean in fairness, who wants to be wrecked on their honeymoon?!?***

I haven't forgotten

I survived the Bridezilla Fair on Sunday, it was a good show, lots of info at it. I'm still planning a much more detailed and info-filled post, but every time I sit down to get all the stuff out, The Handsome One and I just end up having another serious discussion about it all.

So, there's lots of stuff to figure out, I've got a constant headache from the worry about it all and I promise I'll have something more useful up here over the next couple of days. More useful than "waaaaa WTF am I going to do..."

The snapshot is, at the fair the stands that spoke to me most were the far-away-distant-places ones. And the cakes. Oh the cakes.

Have a look at these for the moment and I will have more visuals and stuff later in the week.

Met lovely Irish lady who is based in Sorrento - she was nice
These guys were also present, I think, unless I just found them in Google when I got home on Sunday, tired and emotional and altogether not behaving in either a rational or logical manner.
And these chaps I'd looked into before Sunday, I didn't see them in the RDS Main Hall but don't hold me to it.

So what's the attraction with going away? Escape.

Escape from the shallow materialism that the wedding industry seems to have become. I suspected it had, but all my fears were confirmed on Sunday evening, when I got home and started going through the costs of getting married in Ireland. I started freaking out, pushing various brochures onto the floor in a sort of panic, wondering what on earth we were going to do. It's far less stressful/expensive to go abroad, but it's so much to ask friends and family. There have already been 2 foreign shindigs in my clan, and everybody always goes. It's so much to ask.

Here, people really do see money signs in their eyelids when a B2B walks in. My poor mum was with me on Sunday, watching me out of the corner of her eye, glancing hopefully over, praying that I was coming around to the idea of having a wedding at all. I'm the only daughter. She is being so kind and understanding about my conflicted indecisiveness that it makes me want to make her happy all the more. I don't want to break her heart. I also don't want to drive The Handsome One away by being so indecisive. And crazy.

What the hell?