A Plague!

Email inbox - full of unresolved questions from suppliers regarding minute details

SMS inbox - full of messages asking (a) if we have a wedding list [no] and (b) what the accommodation situation is for the night of the party

Office line - constantly ringing from work and non-work peeps asking about wedding related things

Dreams - full of wedding related themes

Before I fall asleep - wedding related anxiety, asking questions in my head, running through to-do lists

Remember at the start of this blog, 15 months ago, I said I didn't want a wedding?

FORFCUKSAKE!

Who was I kidding. This is bliss!* Wonderful, seriously, who wouldn't want the stress. Turns out, even though I no longer have time to play sports or plan a diet (eating on the hoof is the WORST for me), turns out you burn calories in a direct correlation to the size of the knot in your stomach.

Cool.

* denotes sarcasm

What do you love about getting married?

The best bits of getting married and planning for marriage to the one you love

- Spending lots of time with The Handsome One
- Getting a Licence to Wed - a very fun experience - oooh, licence to wed
- Posting the invitations (no escape now!)
- Having some deep & meaningfuls about life, beliefs, the future, our happiness together
- Thinking about how much we mean to each other - and telling each other
- Spending even more time with The Handsome One
- Friendships coming out in full bloom to lend a hand at stressful moments
- Those same friends celebrating important life long friendships in the form of hen and stag parties
- The chuffed look on people's faces when you tell them you want them there with you for some special moments - be it a dress fitting or shoe shopping
- The excitement that everybody else feels (and expresses!) because you have found the one you love
- Phone calls coming at the right time from the best kind of people, just when you need them
- Hearing words of wisdom from wrinkly relatives who wistfully remember their own marriage ceremonies and wedding breakfasts back in the 1940's!
- My mum telling us "apparently it rained on our wedding day - I didn't notice"
- Unexpected hugs from out-of-office work colleagues who may not see me again before the big day
- Booking honeymoon
- Starting to purchase clothing for said honeymoon
- Having a pre-marriage course with a marriage counsellor telling us we're going to be alright and are a steady ship heading in the right direction so far (key: communication)
- Choosing readings for ceremony
- Choosing music for ceremony
- Planning an hour or so between ceremony and meeting crowd at party to spend with new husband in some peace and quiet
- Getting excited about calling each other "wife" and "husband"
- Looking forward to having all the silly planning out of the way so that we can just simply go in there and commit to each other for the rest of our lives
- Getting emails from distant relatives with "Flights Booked!!" in the subject line
- Getting text messages from friends going "I've just bought my outfit for your wedding!"
- RSVP cards flooding in
- More conservative ladies asking "Where are you going to live after you get married" and our confusion at that - "Why, our house of course..." (Currently) Living In Sin FTW!
- Thinking about what a lovely whirlwind this romance has been...for all five years!

Temporary Panic Sets In...and Out again

I seem to be cruising along just fine in the run up to the last couple of months to this day out. I think maybe it's because I tap into the to-do list almost every day and get emails from various suppliers to make sure we're all on track.

I do update The Handsome One about this - also on a daily basis - but I think perhaps it just goes over his head.

Why?

Well...because this weekend he was hell bent on spending time "on the wedding" and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what he meant. All the appointments have been made, for fittings and adjustments and collections and viewings and checks and all that sort of thing. I was *sure* we were on course!

He sat, at my laptop, for about an hour and a half going through the budget, the to-do list, the running order for the 3 days (wedding-eve prep, wedding-day fun, post-wedding responsibilities...), the "who's paying for what" list - everything. I asked - only twice - "whatcha doin?" to try to figure out what he was at but in the end just wandered off and left him to it.

90 mins later he meanders into the kitchen (where I was left to prepare dinner - again!) and gives me a big hug. There was genuine relief in that hug. I think he just wanted to see where we were at, and was pleasantly surprised to see that everything was on track and running as smoothly as it can under venue circumstances. Even the safety nets and plan B's are in place at the moment; I've contingency coming out my ears.

So back to it.

...what's next for today...?

Mothers, Mothers in Law

I got a nice tip from a recently married friend recently, in relation to The Mums coming together to get to know each other a little better.

The thing about us is, The Handsome One & I are like chalk and cheese. While this works as brilliantly for us as ying & yang, we can't forget that it means we've come from totally different households. I'm a bit mad, in more ways than one. My Handsome Man is cool calm and collected - all the time. He's so relaxed and chilled I just love it. He calms me down and I make him do fun things he would never otherwise have considered. We've discussed this "click" quite a lot and love it about each other.

The same difference goes for our families. While we both come from amazing homes, they are quite different. Thankfully all the important bits are the same - good, kind, fun, lovely to spend time in, full of excellent people who are generous with their time and attention at every moment... However! My folks and extended family can only be described as bonkers, while Handsome's clan are far more reserved! Our family makes a point of getting smashed at reunions and laughing themselves into oblivion, while Handsome's clan prefer sherry and tea - and cake. Oh I love the amount of cake that passes at their family gatherings. Must. Work. On. Baking. Skills. (Have zero).

Anyhoo they're kinda different. I was wondering how the mums would get along and a pal whose recent wedding was a roaring success told me how she handled it... She gave the mums a reason to chat to each other, so they started phoning each other regularly and became pals! The two good ladies got on like a house on fire - not surprisingly because their children were getting hitched. It worked well for her.

I'm trying the same tack. Both Mumsies are asking me about what colour t'other will be wearing on the big day, so I've suggested that they discuss it together - sure why not! I'm also inviting both to a portion (afternoon sober section) of the hen party next month. At least if they both feel they don't want to intrude they can decide together, but I've given my mum the task of arranging things with his mum. [Note: it is important to give each of your folks a to-do list when it comes to wedding planning, especially if you're organising most of it yourself - you need to make sure they feel involved in the run-up to it, it ensures they enjoy the day too - another good tip from the pal whose recent nuptials were an outstanding success...]

I'm really very lucky with the friends who've already gone through this, although they are small in number they are a fountain of good simple advice. In other news, I just bought those stamps...

What to ask the Venue

As requested by the lovely Rosie, here is a guide for what to ask the venue. I pinched this from one of the forums on Weddings Online, as it's even more comprehensive than the one I got from a friend... A few questions are repeated and a few are not even required but here is the full list I got off the website all related to the venue...


General Tips >>> What to ask the Venue Manager
-When will we need to provide final guest numbers?
-What is the minimum number required for the Ballroom, and are children included in this number?
-How many staff will be provided on the day - waiting and bar?
-Is there a smoking area off the ballroom?
-Is there a choice of table shapes, I.e. round, square.
-How many can each table seat - how many tables are there?
-What table layout do you recommend?
-Will there be someone I can liaise with who will be there on the day?
-What are the arrangements for greeting guests as they arrive?
-Do you number the tables or do we?
-Can you play music during the meal - CD?
-Will a staff member handle this, or will we need to find someone?
-Is there a stand for the table plan?
-Can a member of staff act as 'toastmaster' - announcer for speeches, cake cutting etc?
-What is the payment schedule?
-Who will be supervising on the day of the wedding?
-What costs are incurred if the guest numbers change last minute?
-Is there flexibility on the cost of the bar extension?
-Is there a limit to the number of day and evening guests?
-Are there any noise restrictions, e.g. for the band?
-Are fireworks allowed (not necessarily required, just checking!)?
-Do you include the bridal suite free of charge?
-Do we get a free night on our 1^st year anniversary?
-Do we get a reduced rate for the night before the wedding?
-Is it possible to have hairdressers and makeup artists come to our room on morning of the wedding.
-How can we ensure that rooms are reserved for VIP guests only - does this require a deposit?
-Is there a room we can safely store gifts etc during the day (other than a bedroom)?
-Will you inform us if there is another wedding on the same day as ours?
Food, Drink etc
-When do we need to decide on the menu?
-When can we come in for a menu tasting?
-Is it free of charge, do we get a free night in the hotel for this menu tasting?
-Will we be able to meet and liaise with the chef occasionally?
-Can we provide some alcohol for the evening reception?
-How much would you charge per glass of champagne, if we wished to offer a glass to each guest?
-When does the bar open?
-What happens to un-used wine and champagne?
-How long will the evening buffet be out until it is cleared away?
- How much afters food do you advise for 100 day guests and no afters guests?
-What is the children's menu - how much is it?
-What is the vegetarian option, when do we need to let you know numbers of vegetarians?
-is there a charge for choice of main course?
- is it possible to have some other dish in case main dish is not liked (eg. Chicken dish if beef main silent choice?)
-Can you cater for anyone with a special diet i.e. gluten free etc?
-Is there a cheaper food option available for photographer/band etc?
-Do you have high chairs available? How many?
-Is service charge included in the price?
-Will we be able to sample the house wine and house champagne before we choose our drinks package
- Bar extension -How much and until what time?

Cake
- Does the hotel provide a cake stand and what type is it?
- Is there a cover for the stand? What colour is it?
- When is it cut? How much is cut?
- Does hotel provide a cake knife?
-When should the wedding cake be delivered, and where will it be stored?
- Can we use wedding cake as dessert?

Decorations
-Who is responsible for decorating the venue - when is the room available?
-Who will decorate the tables?
-Can we have tea-lights/candles on the tables?
-What chair covers can be provided?
-Would someone be able to collect the decorations after the event, and we will arrange to have them taken them home the following day?
-Do you have any restrictions on decorations?
-What is the china/glassware like?
-Is confetti allowed outside of the building?
-What flowers/decorations etc are provided?
-Do you provide flowers for the top table?
-Will there be linen table cloths and napkins?
-Will someone be able to collect any decorations that we've brought so that we can collect them at some point after the reception?

Table Plan
- How is it displayed?
- When do we need to let the hotel know the names & numbers of guests and seating plan

Timings
-How long should we allow for reception drinks, meal etc?
-What is the best time that the evening guests should arrive?
-At what time should the wedding cake be served?
-What time will you serve the evening buffet?
-How long will the meal take to be served?
-What time should we book band?
-What time does DJ have to end?
-What time is bar close at?
-What time is residents bar open until? Is there residents bar?

Guest Information
-What is the check-in/out time for overnight guests?
-How will people buy additional alcohol during the meal?
-Is there anywhere for guests to store coats, bags etc?
-Will there be someone on hand to arrange taxis for departing guests?
-What time is breakfast served in the morning?

Payment
-How much of a deposit is required
-Percentage required before/after the day (proforma invoice issued)
-Is the service charge included
-If they numbers are slightly out on the day will it still cost
-Method (Credit card/cheque/cash)?
-When does the balance need to be paid?

January. Yikes!

A friend gave me a bit of a shock at the weekend. She told me how many months (correction: how few) months we have left 'til our respective weddings. Quite the jolt I needed to get me into gear.

My witness is getting her own dress, and her hunt has begun in earnest. All sorts of colour options cropping up, with a little (welcome!) direction from my mum.

Future mother-in-law and my mum herself have started searching for outfits - and all being terribly polite to one another about colours and styles and "oh no dear, you go first" - it's all awfully nice.

Venue people are being a pain in the backside, but I won't get started on that because if I do I will just get annoyed. We chose a quiet restaurant for the party and since they got the deposit they have become...less than accommodating. Which is alarming, so we will not go into detail!

Have booked a DJ for the entire day, we will be toetapping from dinner until the wee small hours. The Handsome One and I are very much focussed on the word party in the phrase wedding party so hopefully everyone will enjoy themselves.

Just looking for invitations now, there are so many to choose from. Can't decide who to go for, although Lantz seem to be on everyone's list and I have heard some bad reviews, so unless they have the most amazing selection ever I might give them a miss. Something simple and hassle-free is all we're looking for. Another friend jokingly asked if I would like to see her brochure on Releasing Doves on the day. HA! Oh my god what will people think of next.

Coo. Coo. I will poo on you. Coo. Coo. Coo.

We have set up our meeting with the marriage registration people and will be getting that out of the way in the next couple of weeks. Will have to dig out a copy of my birth certificate (did you know they can go out of date?! Who knew! "Yes, I know I was born some time ago and I know I have a small piece of paper to prove it but as you can see it's out of date, so I must not really exist...oooh I'm a ghost...") - I asked my dad where mine might possibly be and he just burst out laughing. So yeah, getting a copy organised! By the way there IS a charge for getting a marriage licence, it costs frickin' €150 for them to rubber stamp us in 3 seconds and tell us we're good to go. Needs must I understand, but really? Just call it a wedding tax and be done with it!

We're looking into our Lune de Miel which is awfully exciting, we're thinking a city break or two and a week/ten days somewhere hot and boring with little to do but relax with new partner in crime. No longer will we be betrothed! Ha!

This seems like a long engagement doesn't it? But I quite like it...

Photographer is also booked, he seems quite nice. He's not big on staged photos but likes the idea of melting into the background and snapping away at people having a good time. Sounds perfect for the kind of day we're hoping to have. Still undecided about the video element.

We've looked at wedding rings, have some ideas on what's going to go where - might get mine made, which would be super fun. I can't believe the good value at getting exactly what you want if you just look hard enough... Thankfully The Handsome One is very easy to please on this front. Plain & simple is the key!

So I think that's all the main stuff really. We still have to look at flowers but I'm waiting for a sample of the dress material from Hilda which is taking a while. She assures me it'll be here soon...