Goodness. Me.

So you know about skeletons in closets and all that sort of jazz. You possibly have a few. It seems that the "normal" in normal families is that we each have our strange and wonderful different things about our heritage and backgrounds.

I've been fretting for months about a possible explosion at the forthcoming nuptial bash. It happens in families, although most will put a sock in it for the sake of the bride and groom.

It seems that my family is no different. An RSVP arrived this week from the black sheep of the family. We've rowed over whether to invite this sheep because they rub my parents up the wrong way. Our concerns were personal, so rather than create an issue for the rest of the clan (imagine: "where's so-and-so?" then it would all come tumbling out...) we decided to invite everyone, try to keep as many people as happy as possible and hope for the best.

The RSVP arrived in the negative, but with a long letter of explanation attached. Lots of lovely words of kindness for The Handsome One & I, and then the explanation: they can't stand the rest of the clan (those for whom the invitation was primarily extended) and with the auld vino flowing at the party, couldn't guarantee that there wouldn't be a brawl. OK I'm paraphrasing for dramatic effect but that was the gist of it.

Who'da thunk it?

It's so strange. I'm both relieved and puzzled all at the same time. It means we can relax and not worry about fits of anger (woo, we sound like a bunch of crazies, honestly we're not *that* bad) but seriously. Who knew?

I think I must have been an ostrich in a past life. I've no idea what's going on...

Families, eh?

Wedding Update

Moving into the final countdown now...

We sent out the invitations - and took some amusing photographs of us fighting with the postbox to get them in/out again. Now all we have to do is wait for the RSVP's to come flooding in.

We've also sent out a list of B&B's and Guesthouses around the area where people from Far Far Away can maybe stay.

I wish I was more organised but it's all a higgledy piggledy mess at the moment. Work is crazy busy, especially since people have realised I'll be taking a month off during the summer, so they're all running into me to ensure their stuff gets done... Understandable I suppose. I should be pleased they've realised this far in advance!

The dress has arrived and fittings will commence next week. The suit is almost ready. Now for the shoes...

Latest debacle is The Mothers' outfits. Mother-in-law to-be seems to be super-prepared but my own is a little less so. She's a bit more stylish than most mums so the standard Mother-of-the-Bride fare doesn't really swing it for her. The rest aren't special enough. Oh the challenges! Mum's fab looking so quite possibly going to look better than me on the day, no surprises there - if you knew us, that is. I'm a lump of a daughter and she's teeny tiny. I take after my dad, oh well!

My witness's dress is all ready to go as far as I know, so things are moving along. I'm pretty sick of talking about it and working on it but there's not much time for much else at the moment. It's either that or work!

We'll have to meet the florist soon and go through what we would like. My witness chose her own dress and it's quite a contrast to mine so we'll have to think about what will work for us both. And the buttonholes.

So much for not wanting the traditional wedding, this thing has turned into a circus. A circus I tell you! I was warned... But it's still a bit disappointing. Word is out that we haven't invited all the cousins, so I think there are a few aunties and uncles with noses out of joint. We've a big family and we wanted a small wedding! You do the math... I barely see them from one end of the year to another so I didn't think they would be expecting an invitation to include their children, whom I have not seen in 10 years. I don't think that's unreasonable! I've had to leave friends off the list to keep it small and random family people kick up stink? Hmm.

As my lovely witness often suggests... "lick it, stick it, and mail it to someone who gives a sh!t."

Sorry - do I sound fed up? I'm not really. Just jaded.

Yes ok, maybe a little...

The Handsome One said last night, as we were covered in pritt stick and ribbons..."I didn't realise it was going to be so much work..." Like yes dear, what did you think I was trying to avoid by suggesting an elopement?! It may be a selfish solution but who cares...it's our wedding... Oh that it were an option...

Flee I tell you! FLEE to another land far far away to get hitched to the one you love. Let it all be just about your love for each other and let nobody interfere with that. Let no detail of ribbons or flowers get in the way of your committment to another human being.

Unless you want it to of course!

But if you're just in love and just want to be married, please take it from someone who knows...it's not worth it. You won't please everyone, you WILL end up a ball of stress because all the things that you worry might go wrong probably will, and at the end of the day the result will be the same: you will end up married to the man of your dreams. Does it really matter what way the day is once you achieve that objective?

So what have we been up to?

It's been over a month since posting...but there's good reason for that. Best friends getting married means you put your own plans on hold and focus on them for a while. Which has been marvellous fun! But now we're back to it.

Time for those invitations to get collected, written, posted, RSVP's collated, that sort of thing.

One tip re: invites - numbering the back of them so you know who has responded and who has not. That's if you're including the little card & SAE... Wouldn't bother with the SAE if some of the party are overseas however! Just an A and an E please Bob.

In other news... The fitness regime is going well/not well, depending on the mood of my little Wii fit board. I fluctuate. A lot. And it keeps asking me if I'd like to hear a fitness tip. No thank you, the last time I got a fitness tip I had to go into Smyths and buy a Wii...

So anyway, must stop fluctuation or stop going to weddings, hen parties, 30th birthday parties, dinners out, general birthdays, rugby weekends... Oh sod it. My dress fittings start next month, and if I don't mind my shape by now I never will. He's marrying me, and I'm not a perfect 10. I haven't been one since...since possibly when I *was* 10. Aww!

Tip - the Wii fit really does tone you up, it's quite fun...

I think I'm all set re: hair & make-up trials, happy with the plan of action on that. Must schedule a meeting with band and photographer to organise when we're going to run through stuff.

I ordered the wedding cake at the weekend. I don't like spending too much money on this wedding but I have to put up my hand and shamelessly say... I'm spending too much money on the wedding cake. Three tiers, three flavours. Yes I know I'm insane.

The honeymoon is booked - did I tell you that? We're also going to check out what jabs 'n' things we need coz we've decided to go Asian for 3+ weeks. That'll be fun!

Next up - wedding shoes. The best pal found some last month for her big day in one of my favourite shoe shops. When she gets back from Lune de Miel I might see if she can come with me for some inspiration. Or maybe just a coffee and a chat, coz I'm dying to see photos!

In other news again, there's some difficulty negotiating with the wedding venue in terms of accommodation costs. I think maybe I should have done this before we signed the contract. They won't budge and they're being fcukers about it, to the point where I want to scream. I have no intention of ripping off my family for this, and I'm also not going to supplement the price. They *have* to come down, this just isn't good enough. They are pricing themselves way too high and only giving us €20 off the regular (high) price. We were assured everything would be negotiable nearer the day and it's just not the case.

Warning to anyone about to sign - confirm all these little details now so you don't have this headache in 6 months' time!

We've also had the auld pre-marriage course since I last posted. It's really been a busy few weeks! It was a grand experience, chatting with someone about our relationship. Weird, but good overall. I'm glad we did it in a way, it confirms that we're on the right track. I'm pretty sure I would have been ok without it though... Still, he's happy. Handsome One's happiness = important too...

Right I better go, I'm sure there'll be more regular posting over the next couple of months as we run closer to the day itself. Good luck to any brides reading this. Get your Prozac in...

Wedding Stamps

When doing up invitations we'll include an SAE in each one...

Which can be completed with specific wedding stamps from An Post...

Which last year were nice - just a picture of 2 entwined gold wedding bands.

The 2010 ones are different!

You can buy them online direct from An Post in a little booklet, they don't cost any more than a regular stamp - 55c each...

Turning it up a notch

Picking invitations - found 2 very similar invites from 2 different companies. Prices are a mile apart - for the convenience factor. 1/3 price = DIY jobbie. Thing is, I'm not the artiest craftiest person on the planet... Wonder if I can cut the ready-to-post chap's price in half... Hmmm...

Have made decision on wedding rings, ordering them tomorrow.

Make-Up & Hair Trials this weekend.

Wish people would get off my case trying to get other stuff done like buy shoes and underwear. Go away please, I will do all of these annoying things when I get to them. Now sod off. I refuse to stress about the little things.

I have such nice friends though. Ordering me to have a hen party and taking it on themselves to organise one. So kind... I'm very lucky :)

Getting there

With a few months to go we have firmed up on a few things...

Hair trial and make-up trials have been booked for the end of February.

We have met with the Registrar and now are officially Licenced To Wed.

Introduced sets of parents to the celebrant.

Far-away family members have booked flights.

We are running through some pre-marriage stuff soon, it's so funny the questions they ask. I must say, it took The Handsome One a while to figure out how to answer some of the more relationshippy questions. I had read them ages ago and had time to think about all the areas covered, so when it came to answering I was a bit more ok with things. I think the experience will bring us closer - it has happened to other couples we know so I'm sure it'll happen to us too. Makes sense; if the experience so far is anything to go by ;)

We have been to see the venue to ask them All The Questions. I got a big list of What To Ask from a good friend who got hitched last year. I think it must be like the beacon of the B2B - when it's another friend's turn I will pass the torch. We had to give the venue a bit of an ass-kicking actually. We're fairly laid back people but they gave us some thunderingly bad customer service before Christmas and hadn't improved since. No deposit receipt, no copy of the contract sent... There were other details but I won't go into them. Hence our need to visit! The Handsome One - who is usually wonderfully reserved - calmly sat them down and told them he hoped that would be the end of the poor service. I was so chuffed when he did that, I had packed my angry eyes going in there and just had to sit and watch him be the man. What a guy...

Have since heard that our back-up venue (I'm a nerd, I have to have a plan B!) is in financial difficulty so I really fricking hope we're not going to have to pop a marquee in St Stephen's Green for the shindig!

In other news... The photographer and car bits are researched and booked, the music is 90% booked for the whole day and now my next hurdle is the invitations.

Picking the stationary is the easy bit here folks, it's what to write on the damn thing that's causing the hiccoughs. See, we ain't sure about the setup for the day. We have an idea what we'd like but there's nobody to guide us on this. So we're hesitant to make a wrong turn here. We'll figure it out of course, it's not rocket science. It's just a little more difficult that I would have expected. Hurrumph.

I'm looking forward to choosing the cake. I like cake.

January. Yikes!

A friend gave me a bit of a shock at the weekend. She told me how many months (correction: how few) months we have left 'til our respective weddings. Quite the jolt I needed to get me into gear.

My witness is getting her own dress, and her hunt has begun in earnest. All sorts of colour options cropping up, with a little (welcome!) direction from my mum.

Future mother-in-law and my mum herself have started searching for outfits - and all being terribly polite to one another about colours and styles and "oh no dear, you go first" - it's all awfully nice.

Venue people are being a pain in the backside, but I won't get started on that because if I do I will just get annoyed. We chose a quiet restaurant for the party and since they got the deposit they have become...less than accommodating. Which is alarming, so we will not go into detail!

Have booked a DJ for the entire day, we will be toetapping from dinner until the wee small hours. The Handsome One and I are very much focussed on the word party in the phrase wedding party so hopefully everyone will enjoy themselves.

Just looking for invitations now, there are so many to choose from. Can't decide who to go for, although Lantz seem to be on everyone's list and I have heard some bad reviews, so unless they have the most amazing selection ever I might give them a miss. Something simple and hassle-free is all we're looking for. Another friend jokingly asked if I would like to see her brochure on Releasing Doves on the day. HA! Oh my god what will people think of next.

Coo. Coo. I will poo on you. Coo. Coo. Coo.

We have set up our meeting with the marriage registration people and will be getting that out of the way in the next couple of weeks. Will have to dig out a copy of my birth certificate (did you know they can go out of date?! Who knew! "Yes, I know I was born some time ago and I know I have a small piece of paper to prove it but as you can see it's out of date, so I must not really exist...oooh I'm a ghost...") - I asked my dad where mine might possibly be and he just burst out laughing. So yeah, getting a copy organised! By the way there IS a charge for getting a marriage licence, it costs frickin' €150 for them to rubber stamp us in 3 seconds and tell us we're good to go. Needs must I understand, but really? Just call it a wedding tax and be done with it!

We're looking into our Lune de Miel which is awfully exciting, we're thinking a city break or two and a week/ten days somewhere hot and boring with little to do but relax with new partner in crime. No longer will we be betrothed! Ha!

This seems like a long engagement doesn't it? But I quite like it...

Photographer is also booked, he seems quite nice. He's not big on staged photos but likes the idea of melting into the background and snapping away at people having a good time. Sounds perfect for the kind of day we're hoping to have. Still undecided about the video element.

We've looked at wedding rings, have some ideas on what's going to go where - might get mine made, which would be super fun. I can't believe the good value at getting exactly what you want if you just look hard enough... Thankfully The Handsome One is very easy to please on this front. Plain & simple is the key!

So I think that's all the main stuff really. We still have to look at flowers but I'm waiting for a sample of the dress material from Hilda which is taking a while. She assures me it'll be here soon...

Alternative Wedding Ideas

Wedding invitation:
Creativity and patience - this is the result!




Going down the aisle:
Oh how embarrassing, not on your LIFE!! I couldn't do it if I couldn't dance...and I can't, so I won't...




First Dance:
From Dirty Dancing, now this is class!




Guests havin' a bop: Now an MJ tribute...




And now for some cake: