Festive Weddings

Best of luck to all those blushing brides out there. I hope your Christmas wedding is everything you dream of!

I heard some lovely stories over the last few weeks about brides being rescued for their wedding ceremony by lads in JCB's and 4x4's and all sorts of things - if Bono and the lads have to resort to - loike, OMG Public Transport?! The dorsh - then who cares how the bride gets to the ceremony once the groom gets there too! That's all you need - well, legally you also need a witness or two and a celebrant but the rest is just icing right?!

Last January when the last big snow happened in Dublin and the canal was so beautifully frozen, we saw a wedding. One which was not planned for such a cold day!  What I loved most was not just how lovely they looked in magical surroundings - they stopped to take a snap in front of a magnificently snowy St Stephen's Green - but how even though her beautiful bridesmaids were shivvering and trying to chase her with a blanket to keep warm, the bride looked as though she hadn't even noticed the snow, she was just so happy.  Her happy glow was literally keeping her cosy and warm!  So sweet. That's what your wedding day is all about.

I know it's probably not the wedding you've planned if you're getting married this week or next in Ireland, but the photos will be simply magical and your memories even better.  Best of luck to the winter brides out there!  And warm wishes for your future together as husband & wife :o)

Advice

For the peeps who have got engaged recently, some tips!

1. Get yourself a good Wedding Planner Book.  A nice succinct one - some are over the top, some read like a magazine. This one here has really straightforward worksheets and reminders lists for what you should have done 12, 9, 6, 3, 2 and 1 month before the event itself. Check it over, tick stuff off, bob's your mother's brother.

2. Consider beautiful sillk flowers. Surprisingly inexpensive - same price as the real thing - and so much prettier for so much longer. I have dried my bouquet and it just doesn't look as good as these pretty samples I received some months ago...

3. Be organised and remember to thank the people who put so much into your special day - write lists of what people do for you in the run up, so that you can thank them in the personal cards after the event. It makes it so much nicer for people to receive, they really appreciate it!

4. When you get back from honeymoon, don't forget to send away for your marriage cert!  You will need to prove you are married if you are availing of tax benefits, applying for a new driving licence if you are changing your name - everything.  Plus, it's just nice to have ;)  Legally bound to another forever, woo. 

5. Enjoy your honeymoon, don't forget to take pictures!!  We took so few it's hilarious, the pair of us usually take bajillions of photos everywhere we go, but we were so relaxed just taking it all in that I only have some phone pictures to share!

And then we came home...

And it has been so lovely since we got home. The past three months have been blissful. Not just because we're in "The Honeymoon Zone" - after all we were Living in Sin(!) beforehand.  But because we have time to spend with friends, or just working in our little house, making it nice again after all the wedding madness.  Back to reality?  Back to normality more like.

And.

I.

Love it.

More thank you card ideas

Post wedding laziness really is a wonderful thing. Getting married earlier this summer was a good idea, considering we've had a good few weeks of lovely sunshine to get us back into the swing of things. At work it feels like an extremely long time ago that we were away on Lune de Miel but it's still less than 3 months. Mad!

So I have expanded the list of Really Cool Websites where you can get thank you cards and other such delightful things to personalise with your fabaroonie photos.

Shakespeare Photo Books 'n' things have nice templates and are reasonably good value!  I love the look of the little books, a friend who just had a baby might be getting one of these books for Christmas in fact...

You've all seen the ads for the pigs from the moon card company, they actually have some fun designs to check out for wedding thank you cards...

More moo's from these guys (seriously, what have cows got to do with greetings? I feel a bit dim but I don't get it...) - more lovely designs and another easy-to-use website.

I think these ones from Photocard Creations are the absolute business - if budget was no object I would have been there with these guys in a flash!  They are a good bit more expensive than the rest but the cards themselves are just so classy.

I'm sure everybody knows about these guys but Vista Print are very good.  My only concern is the quality but for the price...what's that line?  You get what you pay for... These are practially free...

Lastly the one I'd go for is...drum roll please... Photo Box.  They fit my bill in terms of sweet little designs and value for money. Win. Don't forget to make sure envelopes come with your cards or are included...that'd be a fine mess.  50 cards all carefully written and nothing to write the address on...

Thank you!

Thank you cards

Thank You

The most important thing on our post-wedding to-do list is...  Thanking people!  It's been overwhelming the amount of kindness and generosity we have witnessed in the middle of this recession and we don't want to wait too long to thank everyone.  Since we had a private ceremony we figured it might be nice to put a photo of us actually getting married on the card itself. 

There are so many options - a friend recommended Thank You Cards Dot Eye Ee which looks like it will do what it says on the tin...

One of the nicest places to get your invitations if you have the cash is Love Letters - we couldn't afford it (we did a DIY job together, fun & games as you can imagine!) - but they have the usual gorgeous list of designs and options to choose from if you have the Thank You Card budget!

From the day job (helping people figure out ways of running (or just starting!) a small business more efficiently) I'm aware of VistaPrint - it allows you to upload your own design if you wish, or use their templates and add your own photo.  Also a winner for invites if you want a really personal touch on a budget.  Their wedding designs can be found here - have fun with it!  The quality may not last forever but it's perfect in the short term I think. 

Thank You

Thank You

Thank You

he hee heeeeee

Logging Off...

So we're getting close now and my time is a little... under pressure... 

Sorry if I haven't been engaging much on the comments side these past few weeks. It's been manic. 

Guests have started arriving - literally landing in from overseas.  Planes Trains & Automobiles here we go. 

Thanks for listening/reading... Good luck to any B2B's out there; I hope you experience goes well!

See you on the other side...

Breakout

The hair is all over the place.

The skin is breaking out.

After all the weight loss followed by all the stress I think I piled on a few pounds.

The shoes I ordered haven't arrived in time.

The music person we arranged has had a bereavement and cannot make it to the wedding.  Then something happened the backup.  Don't ask.

The fun socks 'n' cufflinks I ordered for the dads and things will not arrive in time. 

My godfather isn't making it to the wedding now for some unknown reason.  Worrisome. 

The special underwear ordered never materialised, if you pardon the pun. 

All we need now is the ash cloud to come back and cancel the honeymoon.

This may sound bitter and evil but I hope they all feel very guilty for making me go through this.  Guilt made me do it.  It's time it bounced back on them.  Coz it's so not worth it. 

A Day Off

Handsome One is bringing me to the cinema later.  I insisted that we have a wedding-free evening so that's what we're going to have.  I hope you enjoy yours :)

Seating Table Plan

Try not to worry too much about this, because many of our friends have told us that this was one of the most difficult things about getting married. 

We must have been either very lucky with who RSVP'd or else we're just very lucky generally with our lot of pals and clan folk.  We didn't have a problem with it at all.  Our family neatly fitted into three tables, our top table spilled onto two and we have five tables of friends.  Not all numbers are the same but as we are using round tables there's no issue, nobody will notice.  We reckon.  We hope. 

For the tables that have different groups of friends at them we kept the groups to 4 and 4, or two couples each, that worked quite well.  There is one seriously fun-table (that's how I grade them, in terms of fun to be had) which I think I'd like to be at...  No, can't, must sit with husband.

That's a good way to do it we think - pop your guests onto tables, then study the tables and give it a fun rating out of 10.  80% or higher gets you approved ;)

I'm Fine

This has become my new phrase of choice

I'm fine

As most men know, this is a complete lie.  As most wise men will know, you need to stay out of my way and stop bothering me when I use it more than 10 times in one conversation. 

When I say stay out of my way and stop bothering me, I mean only speak to me to tell me things you have done and ticked off the list.  Do not sit there doing nothing, wait for me to ask gently if x, y or z has been maybe, you know, completed...?  Pretty please?  And then scowl at me as if I'm the biggest cow on the planet because I asked you about something you haven't done.  It's not my fault you haven't done it, nor is it my fault that you said you would do it 2 weeks ago.  And now that time is running out, all the millions of tiny little things that would have taken you 2 seconds to do at the time, are now piling up into this big mess of TO DO lists.  Plural. 

You Twat.

Be prepared for unexplainable bouts of tears at quiet moments when nobody can see or hear you.  Because you really didn't sign up for this and no matter how much you put a smile on and get on with it for the important people in your life, you can't help feeling unbelievably frustrated because no matter what you do things keep getting frayed at the edges or worse still, keep falling apart. 

Deep breaths, big smile, pop that twinkle back in your eye and keep going.  You're nearly there.

Wedding Flip Flops

How cute are these? 

Honeymoon Planning

Now this bit, is what I've been looking forward to most.

We went out and bought suitcases!  Mine is burst and too small for a month's worth of clothes, and the wheel broke of his the last time we were away!  What better excuse on the planet is there to go and get a fancy schmancy set of luggage? 

The invitation RSVP's came back last month and since then, new envelopes have started arriving.  Of the thin, paper-like gift variety.  So we cashed in one or two of these kind & generous cheques and brought the proceeds to TK Maxx, and Kildare Village on a luggage related shopping spree. 

THEN we went to other shops and started to look for new pretty things to put in said luggage.  New flip-flops in a|wear, new bikini in Calvin Klein (OMG I've never spent so much on a tiny item of clothing in my life) and some dresses in a few different places. 

Lune de Miel. The best reason in the world to get married. 

Shoes & Toesies

So... You may have noticed that the sandally-shoes I picked have peep toes.  Well I've been growing the old toenails and trying to keep them nice (I'm a demon for leaving dark polish on for weeks, I don't think that's too good for them...) and was wondering about a frenchie. 

I've found somewhere in Blackrock that does the three-week polish on your pinkies!  Burgundy salon is just be the old Playwright pub, now TGI Friday's, it's one of the little cottages.  Anyhoo they do the everlast polish for your hands so I rang up and discovered you can get them on your toes as well...  Magic.  Honeymoon flip-flopping will be pretty and not in need of constant management.  Bliss. 

TIP: Don't go to Google Images and look up toenails unless you want to see your breakfast twice.  GROSS!

Wedding Food Tasting Extravaganza

This bit is most fun. 

We got the sample menus ages ago and forgot about them.  More than 4 weeks before the event generally, you have your tasting evening. 

This consists of every member of staff at your venue fawning over you for the evening as you sample most of the delights which you hope to present to your guests on the big day.  It's difficult to narrow things down if you like your food like we do, so we asked for extra dishes, not just the standard two.  To be fair to them, since there has been so much horrible stuff going on with the venue recently they coughed up and gave us what we asked for.  [Note: first time we've felt like they were going to make some effort to make our day nice. Thank goodness for small mercies - we were much more relaxed after the evening.]

It's difficult narrowing down your choices as I said, but when it came down to it there were clear winners in every round.  I just hope everyone else likes our courses as much as we do! 

Oh, and we got to sample a load of different wines as well, which was MOST fun.  [Note2: bring a driver with you if at all possible.]

We even got to bring our favourites home with us.

See? They DO know how to turn on the charm.

There was some debate over who we should bring to the tasting, if anyone at all.  Some people choose to bring the parents, some choose to bring the chief bridesmaid and best man, some choose to bring nobody at all.

Whatever you decide to do, just relax and enjoy your evening - enjoy people making a fuss - and get used to it!  And remember to make the most of it with your Handsome One, because apparently the day itself passes in a blur and you won't remember the small details - nice to remember the tasting event as a nice evening together. 

It's Leinster Time

Time for some Leinster action, time to switch off from wedding planning and head to the Royal Dublin Society and cheer on the men in blue. 

I love some of the banners the Supporters Club put up - Sexton's On Fire and D4tress, which I think is particularly entertaining...  Ross O'Carroll-Kelly would be supremely proud. 

So C'MON LEINSTER!  Time to rock.

Wedding Tan Possible Solution

Rather than having another disastrous experience with a spray tan I decided to give the old tinted moisturiser another whirl.  If I'm very, very careful it just might work. 

All I'm looking for is a healthy glow atop my current freckletastic face.  The recent sunshine has meant that my freckles are out in full swing and hey, I like them, so at least that's something. 

My first tinted moisturising experience all those years ago was when J&J holiday skin came on the market.  They sold out everywhere and our entire office had THAT almighty whiff even though just 2 of us were trying it out.  I put it all over my face that first day, in innocent/ignorance. 

Since then I've tried many different types and always end up reverting to Dove.  It smells the least obnoxious and goes on naturally, onto my skintone.  Whenever I wear it people say I'm looking well - as opposed to when I tried out the spray tan and they actually commented on the tan itself. 

So I'm sitting here typing away having started to put a little on daily, for about 4 days now.  And it seems to be working!  I look a little healthier and I feel a bit brighter in my clothes so at least that's something.  Ideally I would have the time to sit out in the garden for 20 mins every day but right now all my spare time is taken up with shopping and organising and meeting suppliers. When I'm not doing that I'm having to meet with family to discuss various things.  The joys.

Dovetastic... I think we may have a winner...

Volcano Threat

How did I miss this last week? 

News that the dragon may be done to sleep for another little while.  The Eyjafjallajökul Volcano seems to have gone quiet - this could mean...  That our guests will be able to fly, and that maybe possibly hopefully our honeymoon can happen....  Dare we hope?

It has been adding to the stress, I must admit.

Honeymoon Clothes

Shopping

Shopping

Shopping

I love an excuse to shop.  For new luggage (swit-swoo), for new swimwear, for new shorts and dresses, ooooh I love to shop.

The part of the shopping that's painful is the bank account situation.  Dagnabbit.

Hot Tip

When trying to grow your nails (and as an ex-nail-biter to boot) don't grow them so long in your excitement that they break (badly) half-way down the nail bed.  Especially don't do it by agressive gardening (i.e. losing temper with stubborn weeds dagnabbit) in the vain hope that spending time out of doors will also flourish your "tan" (for "tan" read "freckle farm").

That will be all for today. 

Les Fleurs

A wee fleur for the mums
A wee fleur for the bro's & sisters
A buttonhole for the dads, witness & my Handsome One
A wee BooKay for my witness

A wee BooKay for me

A splash of fleur-related colour on the alter, at the church door and the top pew ends

A wee splash of colour on the dining tables

An enormous number of flowers draped over as yet unfinished changes to function room (better to be prepared, in case they really don't finish in time)

Remember when I advised you to delegate?   Thank the gods I did just that.  When florists start talking about the fleur names in Latin my eyes glaze over.  All I want to say is "can't you just make it nice?" coz I really don't know what they're on about at all.  Thank goodness for having fleur-related people in the family.  Fleur-relations.  Phew.

World Cup Wedding Clash

A surprising number of people are asking if we're going to have a big screen at our wedding...

We thought carefully about dates and things so that this wouldn't happen - we're avoiding anything that's relevant to our small island nation. 

So we find out now that it doesn't just clash with one sporting event, but two.  Neither of which Ireland is involved in, therefore I think I'm well within my rights not to give a hoot. 

No there will NOT be a big screen at our wedding.  At first I thought people were joking but now I'm getting texts & emails about it.  Guests.  Genuinely concerned that they may not be able to watch their men folk running around after a ball.  Because we'll be feasting on a meal that a lot of planning has gone into.  Planning, mostly for them.  Not for me remember, I wanted none of this, and now that we've put all this damn work in, said guests... 

I just can't even finish that sentence.  I'm getting really fcuking fed up at this stage. 

Tanning

Got a sample spray tan done at the weekend to see if I'll get on this summer for the big day. 

I am - let's face it - caucasian.  I'm Irish to boot.  You know what this means right? 

Pasty white skin, going to look pretty strange in the dress unless I try to "healthy" myself up a bit.

So I asked for a healthy glow and OMG I'm still scrubbing 4 days later.  I'm RAW from the scrubbing.  And I still look filthy!  What's that about!? 

It's bonkers, maybe it's just that I'm not used to it but if this is the lightest they go...

What to do?!

Wedding Bra, Wedding Shoes

Well this was interesting.

Went into a few shops over the last 2 weekends looking for underthings for The Dress.  I'll be needing the bra for the final fitting, not to mention shoes.  Hhmmm, shoes...

Two SUPER helpful places I went to (didn't need to go any further) were Brown Thomas and Peaches & Cream.  Both shops have super helpful ladies in there who don't gush and "OMG" too much when you tell them you're getting married soon, they just guide you to the things that will look good on you.  Geniuses all. 

There was a young lady in Peaches & Cream who is worried about not having her bra in time for her first fitting which is in three weeks' time!  How MAD am I thinking it's totally normal to go searching for unmentionable underthings after you've started your fittings?  Quite, apparently.  The lady in there was so prepared she had brought her dress in with her.  Fair fricking play to her for being so organised.  I'm all over the bloody place and not at all bothered.  Sure it's just a bra. 

Re: Shoes?  Have a look here and just GUESS.  They're SO PRETTY!!!!!!!!

Nails

So here's the plan:

3 weeks before my wedding I will get one of these, a three week manicure from the lovely ladies in Nails Inc.  The gel polish will protect my nails for the lead up to the big day and make sure they grow nice and long.  Then the week of the wedding itself I will get a fresh one which should last up until the honeymoon.  Should be fun! 

I made the appointment this morning.  Have to book weeks in advance in Nails Inc...

Bride-to-Be Guide to Handling Pre-Wedding Stress

You may as well know, a host of things will probably go wrong as you try to organise your day - big wedding or not. I'm not being pessimistic, just realistic. Suppliers may falter, family may cause hiccoughs, people may pass away unexpectedly, an ash cloud may descend! The point is, you have to be able to take care of yourself and not let all the stress get to you so much that it takes over your life. It's only one day, remember?

Some ways that I have been able to survive:

• Substitute camomile tea for some of your cups of coffee - less jitters, less nerves
• Before you go to sleep, use some lavendar moisturiser on your shoulders, neck and hands so that is soothes you to sleep - you don't have to go to L'Occitane and spend a fortune, Boots have a lovely one!
• If things do start to get to you and you feel anxious all the time, pop into your local pharmacy and talk to the nice ladies behind the counter.  They may recommend a natural plant/herb extract which could help you relax, such as Kalms - they're not that expensive and the wee bottle lasts for ages
• Try to make some non-wedding time for you and your spouse-to-be; by this I mean, go back to something you used to love doing before you got engaged.  Be it a walk on your favourite beach, dinner in your favourite cheap&cheerful, a trip to the IFI or a match in your local GAA/soccer/rugby club to get the blood pumping. It's amazing how helpfully refreshing a match can be. I screamed and roared at Leinster in the RDS last Sunday and felt amazing afterwards - so relaxed!  Forgot all about the venue from hell for 2 hours and just had a blast with my betrothed - cannot recommend it highly enough to ease the stress. 
• Politely ask people who ring you 7 times a day about wedding things, to please not call you quite so often as you are quite busy, and need to structure your wedding-talk time a little more.  So only call at lunchtime or after work about wedding stuff. 
• If it helps - turn off your voicemail!!  Similarly annoying, 7 messages a day when you dial 171 can get to you.  Your mobile beeping, emails whizzing in, landlines hopping - it all works against you to create an atmosphere of pressure when lets face it - that's not what it's meant to be about.

Ultimately, communication is key.  If anything is getting to you, tell the people around you - that's what best friends, bridesmaids, sisters, aunts, grannies, cousins and mums are for.  They love you and will only be too delighted to help in any way they can. Sharing is caring, right?!  

Delegation is also extremely important.  Try to put anything that goes wrong into a category.  If it is family related, get your Pops onto it to help sort it out.  If it is flowers-related, get whoever in your clan is the best gardener to have a word with the florist and sort it out.  If it is food related, get the cuddly-grub-fan in your group of mates to help you with some suggestions.  NB: Ask. For. Help. 

This is not what you want:

You want to be like this!!!!

Or like this!!!

He Hee Heee

Just bought some funsies for the boyos

Dress Fitting and Whatnot

The dress fittings have commenced. I've been ordered to purchase shoes and unmentionable underthings to ensure all the remaining wobbly bits are secure. Honestly, it's like a military operation. Good friends all signing up to come with me for these horrific experiences, although part of me knows that it's just to point and laugh (for if you cannot laugh at your friends....well where's the fun in that?!)

It's funny, I don't know why everyone wants to be a part of all these annoying things so much. I don't enjoy them terribly much (not liking my shape may have something to do with it but I'll have to suck it up [and in] and just accept that I am this shape and that's that) and I'm wondering why there is so much enthusiasm to attend avec moi?

I don't disrespect them enough to ask, I just find it interesting. If a little puzzling.

My good (recently married) friends have warned me about this. In the last 2 months leading up to The Event, apparently your life turns into a series of to-do lists which you scratch off and amend every half of every day. It's true! All of it. Lists, lists, lists. Even Handsome One has some. He was NEVER a list sort of guy at home (had many at work I believe) and now he's in a panic if he loses the small piece of scrap paper that he wrote many important things on. Panic does something to his memory too, because he can never remember what he wrote on it. It's so funny! Writing things down manages to aid my memory, which is handy.

After much hilarity looking at wedding candle TAT (if you're bored, do google them, they can be so tacky and amusing, I find it v.funny) we've had the sensible chat with the vicar and are going to just use normal candles in his lovely candelabra-yokie. Apparently the good lady who does the church flowers puts some nice fleurs around the candles and makes them look all purty. Suits us!! Yes indeedie, let someone else worry about them... It's the symbolism that's important to us, nothing else. I likes the vicar. He be sensible and whatnot.

When I say normal candles I mean something like this...


The Handsome One is sorting some stuff out for us this week. If I get involved in any more of the problem solving I may just start shouting at someone. I never - ever - wanted to turn into a Bridezilla and thankfully thus far I don't think I'm getting there. In fact some married-friends are wondering why I'm not kicking up more of a holy stink about certain venue related things. The truth is, it's not that important. What's important is that my family have their flights booked and they're coming over (I LOVED getting those emails with landing time details, so exciting), what's important is that we have our rings, and a date with a vicar. If the walls fall down during dinner it'll make a great story for the grandkids.

That said, I'm very, very glad that my Handsome man is going to sort a few things out and not take and crap from anyone. He's not opening a discussion, he said, he is just going to insist upon a few things. Calmly.

Hero.

A Plague!

Email inbox - full of unresolved questions from suppliers regarding minute details

SMS inbox - full of messages asking (a) if we have a wedding list [no] and (b) what the accommodation situation is for the night of the party

Office line - constantly ringing from work and non-work peeps asking about wedding related things

Dreams - full of wedding related themes

Before I fall asleep - wedding related anxiety, asking questions in my head, running through to-do lists

Remember at the start of this blog, 15 months ago, I said I didn't want a wedding?

FORFCUKSAKE!

Who was I kidding. This is bliss!* Wonderful, seriously, who wouldn't want the stress. Turns out, even though I no longer have time to play sports or plan a diet (eating on the hoof is the WORST for me), turns out you burn calories in a direct correlation to the size of the knot in your stomach.

Cool.

* denotes sarcasm

Watching Weight

Ahem.

Somehow, I don't think having an entire collection of WeightWatchers Belgian Chocolate & Vanilla Mousse pots counts as being careful about what I'm eating.

Oh well.

On to the large box of WW Profiterols then.

Romantic Songs

This isn't going to be the sort of gathering where you have speeches and cake cutting and first dances; this is just a party after a private ceremony. How and ever...

Listening to my favourite music medium of late, The Radio, one of my favourite songs came on, and I listened once again to the lyrics. They make up the sort of message I'd like to deliver to The Handsome One - the top 5 lines are about marriage in general, while the bottom 2 lines are really just about the honeymoon ;)

I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath: Truly, madly, deeply
I will be strong, I will be faithful
'Cause I'm counting on a new beginning, a reason for living, a deeper meaning...

I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea

OK so, enough of the slushie love stuff. Back to planning and organising and barking orders like a tyrant.

The song is Truly, Madly, Deeply by Ozzie chaps Savage Garden - I've amended them slightly

Goodness. Me.

So you know about skeletons in closets and all that sort of jazz. You possibly have a few. It seems that the "normal" in normal families is that we each have our strange and wonderful different things about our heritage and backgrounds.

I've been fretting for months about a possible explosion at the forthcoming nuptial bash. It happens in families, although most will put a sock in it for the sake of the bride and groom.

It seems that my family is no different. An RSVP arrived this week from the black sheep of the family. We've rowed over whether to invite this sheep because they rub my parents up the wrong way. Our concerns were personal, so rather than create an issue for the rest of the clan (imagine: "where's so-and-so?" then it would all come tumbling out...) we decided to invite everyone, try to keep as many people as happy as possible and hope for the best.

The RSVP arrived in the negative, but with a long letter of explanation attached. Lots of lovely words of kindness for The Handsome One & I, and then the explanation: they can't stand the rest of the clan (those for whom the invitation was primarily extended) and with the auld vino flowing at the party, couldn't guarantee that there wouldn't be a brawl. OK I'm paraphrasing for dramatic effect but that was the gist of it.

Who'da thunk it?

It's so strange. I'm both relieved and puzzled all at the same time. It means we can relax and not worry about fits of anger (woo, we sound like a bunch of crazies, honestly we're not *that* bad) but seriously. Who knew?

I think I must have been an ostrich in a past life. I've no idea what's going on...

Families, eh?

What do you love about getting married?

The best bits of getting married and planning for marriage to the one you love

- Spending lots of time with The Handsome One
- Getting a Licence to Wed - a very fun experience - oooh, licence to wed
- Posting the invitations (no escape now!)
- Having some deep & meaningfuls about life, beliefs, the future, our happiness together
- Thinking about how much we mean to each other - and telling each other
- Spending even more time with The Handsome One
- Friendships coming out in full bloom to lend a hand at stressful moments
- Those same friends celebrating important life long friendships in the form of hen and stag parties
- The chuffed look on people's faces when you tell them you want them there with you for some special moments - be it a dress fitting or shoe shopping
- The excitement that everybody else feels (and expresses!) because you have found the one you love
- Phone calls coming at the right time from the best kind of people, just when you need them
- Hearing words of wisdom from wrinkly relatives who wistfully remember their own marriage ceremonies and wedding breakfasts back in the 1940's!
- My mum telling us "apparently it rained on our wedding day - I didn't notice"
- Unexpected hugs from out-of-office work colleagues who may not see me again before the big day
- Booking honeymoon
- Starting to purchase clothing for said honeymoon
- Having a pre-marriage course with a marriage counsellor telling us we're going to be alright and are a steady ship heading in the right direction so far (key: communication)
- Choosing readings for ceremony
- Choosing music for ceremony
- Planning an hour or so between ceremony and meeting crowd at party to spend with new husband in some peace and quiet
- Getting excited about calling each other "wife" and "husband"
- Looking forward to having all the silly planning out of the way so that we can just simply go in there and commit to each other for the rest of our lives
- Getting emails from distant relatives with "Flights Booked!!" in the subject line
- Getting text messages from friends going "I've just bought my outfit for your wedding!"
- RSVP cards flooding in
- More conservative ladies asking "Where are you going to live after you get married" and our confusion at that - "Why, our house of course..." (Currently) Living In Sin FTW!
- Thinking about what a lovely whirlwind this romance has been...for all five years!

Wedding Update

Moving into the final countdown now...

We sent out the invitations - and took some amusing photographs of us fighting with the postbox to get them in/out again. Now all we have to do is wait for the RSVP's to come flooding in.

We've also sent out a list of B&B's and Guesthouses around the area where people from Far Far Away can maybe stay.

I wish I was more organised but it's all a higgledy piggledy mess at the moment. Work is crazy busy, especially since people have realised I'll be taking a month off during the summer, so they're all running into me to ensure their stuff gets done... Understandable I suppose. I should be pleased they've realised this far in advance!

The dress has arrived and fittings will commence next week. The suit is almost ready. Now for the shoes...

Latest debacle is The Mothers' outfits. Mother-in-law to-be seems to be super-prepared but my own is a little less so. She's a bit more stylish than most mums so the standard Mother-of-the-Bride fare doesn't really swing it for her. The rest aren't special enough. Oh the challenges! Mum's fab looking so quite possibly going to look better than me on the day, no surprises there - if you knew us, that is. I'm a lump of a daughter and she's teeny tiny. I take after my dad, oh well!

My witness's dress is all ready to go as far as I know, so things are moving along. I'm pretty sick of talking about it and working on it but there's not much time for much else at the moment. It's either that or work!

We'll have to meet the florist soon and go through what we would like. My witness chose her own dress and it's quite a contrast to mine so we'll have to think about what will work for us both. And the buttonholes.

So much for not wanting the traditional wedding, this thing has turned into a circus. A circus I tell you! I was warned... But it's still a bit disappointing. Word is out that we haven't invited all the cousins, so I think there are a few aunties and uncles with noses out of joint. We've a big family and we wanted a small wedding! You do the math... I barely see them from one end of the year to another so I didn't think they would be expecting an invitation to include their children, whom I have not seen in 10 years. I don't think that's unreasonable! I've had to leave friends off the list to keep it small and random family people kick up stink? Hmm.

As my lovely witness often suggests... "lick it, stick it, and mail it to someone who gives a sh!t."

Sorry - do I sound fed up? I'm not really. Just jaded.

Yes ok, maybe a little...

The Handsome One said last night, as we were covered in pritt stick and ribbons..."I didn't realise it was going to be so much work..." Like yes dear, what did you think I was trying to avoid by suggesting an elopement?! It may be a selfish solution but who cares...it's our wedding... Oh that it were an option...

Flee I tell you! FLEE to another land far far away to get hitched to the one you love. Let it all be just about your love for each other and let nobody interfere with that. Let no detail of ribbons or flowers get in the way of your committment to another human being.

Unless you want it to of course!

But if you're just in love and just want to be married, please take it from someone who knows...it's not worth it. You won't please everyone, you WILL end up a ball of stress because all the things that you worry might go wrong probably will, and at the end of the day the result will be the same: you will end up married to the man of your dreams. Does it really matter what way the day is once you achieve that objective?

Temporary Panic Sets In...and Out again

I seem to be cruising along just fine in the run up to the last couple of months to this day out. I think maybe it's because I tap into the to-do list almost every day and get emails from various suppliers to make sure we're all on track.

I do update The Handsome One about this - also on a daily basis - but I think perhaps it just goes over his head.

Why?

Well...because this weekend he was hell bent on spending time "on the wedding" and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what he meant. All the appointments have been made, for fittings and adjustments and collections and viewings and checks and all that sort of thing. I was *sure* we were on course!

He sat, at my laptop, for about an hour and a half going through the budget, the to-do list, the running order for the 3 days (wedding-eve prep, wedding-day fun, post-wedding responsibilities...), the "who's paying for what" list - everything. I asked - only twice - "whatcha doin?" to try to figure out what he was at but in the end just wandered off and left him to it.

90 mins later he meanders into the kitchen (where I was left to prepare dinner - again!) and gives me a big hug. There was genuine relief in that hug. I think he just wanted to see where we were at, and was pleasantly surprised to see that everything was on track and running as smoothly as it can under venue circumstances. Even the safety nets and plan B's are in place at the moment; I've contingency coming out my ears.

So back to it.

...what's next for today...?

Are you going to change your name?

The ever moving conundrum of whether I should change my name or not...

I'm an independent woman who has a good...brand shall we say. I've spent a few decades getting known as me, and I quite like me to be quite frank about it... I quite like him too, but that doesn't mean I want to rebrand myself, right? It doesn't mean I have to, either.

The whole history of women changing their name baffles me. In 2010, I don't need to change my name to ensure I get respect from people. Nor do I need all other men in the universe to think that I am owned by another. Nor do I need protection for when we are separated by death. Let's face it, he doesn't have a large inheritance of lands and serfs to go fighting with other people over. He's not the only one who gets a vote, his name does not need to be branded onto my person like I'm some sort of farmyard animal recently purchased at a mart!

It's very romantic idea, taking your husband's name. I don't think ladies who do, give up any sort of identity, I just think it's twee and old fashioned. Don't get me wrong, I don't go burning my bras on our lovely BBQ of a weekend for the craic, I'm not a dig-my-heels in feminist, I'm just a modern woman with a certain amout of respectability all on my own.

It's also a very nice idea when it comes to having children - there's no question who someone's mum is, down in the school car park if we all have the same name. But I think that's a silly reason to lose my birth given name. I'm loathe to call it a maiden name, as the title in itself implies that we shouldn't keep it if we're no longer a maiden...but that's a whole other box of Pandora's.

My compromise, thusfar (and if people push me and make me mad I'll go back over to the other side and possibly *will* start to burn my pretty bras) is to take on his name and add it to mine.

The hyphen is a curse, according to my double-barrelled friends. I do not suggest imposing a 7-syllable surname on my possible future offspring but this is me we're talking about here. Just me. I won't mind being called Mrs. Handsome One, I won't mind being called Mrs. Independent Lady Hyphen Handsome One, and I won't take offence if people just call me Ms Lady. Or Mrs Lady. Or even Miss Lady. I won't worry that people might think me a governess if they do...

From a legal perspective, your name is your name by use & repute. I rang the nice people at the Citizens Information Office and the nice man there told me that his lady wife goes by all three names. She's Independent Lady at work, Mrs Independent-Nice Man outside of work, and people call her Mrs Nice Man down in the school yard. She is legally entitled to use all three, as they are all relevant to her and her various papers. This, I think, is a nice approach. He is in the know, and he is very relaxed about the whole thing. Most importantly, he respects his wife in her independent self, and does not take personal offence to her not dropping her original name at all.

If you would like more information on this...there's a ton of info here, from the Citizens Information Service. There is also a host of suggestions on what you can do, here. It's using American examples but it gets the points across!

I've started practicing my new signature. That's kinda fun. Three's my lucky number ye'know. Now I'll have three names. Coolness!

Venue Problems Chapter Two

You may have noticed on Twitter that I am currently up and down like a yo-yo with regards to our venue choice.

We are having difficulties - big ones - I will post when there is resolution. Hopefully soon.

I have already been in contact with three alternate venues today, two of which are available on our big day.

Yes, it's that bad. So bad we could/would switch. Yes, the invites have been printed. No, they're not all gone out.

Yes, I'm stressed.

But yes... Yes I have the most excellent friends who are keeping me sane, the kindest mother who knows not to ring me about it during work hours lest I cry, and the best fiancé who has had enough of my sleepless worrying and is packing his boots and going to see them some morning this week to get the truth out of them because I'm up to my tits at work.

So all in all, perspective in sharp focus, I'm still a lucky little lady.

So what have we been up to?

It's been over a month since posting...but there's good reason for that. Best friends getting married means you put your own plans on hold and focus on them for a while. Which has been marvellous fun! But now we're back to it.

Time for those invitations to get collected, written, posted, RSVP's collated, that sort of thing.

One tip re: invites - numbering the back of them so you know who has responded and who has not. That's if you're including the little card & SAE... Wouldn't bother with the SAE if some of the party are overseas however! Just an A and an E please Bob.

In other news... The fitness regime is going well/not well, depending on the mood of my little Wii fit board. I fluctuate. A lot. And it keeps asking me if I'd like to hear a fitness tip. No thank you, the last time I got a fitness tip I had to go into Smyths and buy a Wii...

So anyway, must stop fluctuation or stop going to weddings, hen parties, 30th birthday parties, dinners out, general birthdays, rugby weekends... Oh sod it. My dress fittings start next month, and if I don't mind my shape by now I never will. He's marrying me, and I'm not a perfect 10. I haven't been one since...since possibly when I *was* 10. Aww!

Tip - the Wii fit really does tone you up, it's quite fun...

I think I'm all set re: hair & make-up trials, happy with the plan of action on that. Must schedule a meeting with band and photographer to organise when we're going to run through stuff.

I ordered the wedding cake at the weekend. I don't like spending too much money on this wedding but I have to put up my hand and shamelessly say... I'm spending too much money on the wedding cake. Three tiers, three flavours. Yes I know I'm insane.

The honeymoon is booked - did I tell you that? We're also going to check out what jabs 'n' things we need coz we've decided to go Asian for 3+ weeks. That'll be fun!

Next up - wedding shoes. The best pal found some last month for her big day in one of my favourite shoe shops. When she gets back from Lune de Miel I might see if she can come with me for some inspiration. Or maybe just a coffee and a chat, coz I'm dying to see photos!

In other news again, there's some difficulty negotiating with the wedding venue in terms of accommodation costs. I think maybe I should have done this before we signed the contract. They won't budge and they're being fcukers about it, to the point where I want to scream. I have no intention of ripping off my family for this, and I'm also not going to supplement the price. They *have* to come down, this just isn't good enough. They are pricing themselves way too high and only giving us €20 off the regular (high) price. We were assured everything would be negotiable nearer the day and it's just not the case.

Warning to anyone about to sign - confirm all these little details now so you don't have this headache in 6 months' time!

We've also had the auld pre-marriage course since I last posted. It's really been a busy few weeks! It was a grand experience, chatting with someone about our relationship. Weird, but good overall. I'm glad we did it in a way, it confirms that we're on the right track. I'm pretty sure I would have been ok without it though... Still, he's happy. Handsome One's happiness = important too...

Right I better go, I'm sure there'll be more regular posting over the next couple of months as we run closer to the day itself. Good luck to any brides reading this. Get your Prozac in...

Mothers, Mothers in Law

I got a nice tip from a recently married friend recently, in relation to The Mums coming together to get to know each other a little better.

The thing about us is, The Handsome One & I are like chalk and cheese. While this works as brilliantly for us as ying & yang, we can't forget that it means we've come from totally different households. I'm a bit mad, in more ways than one. My Handsome Man is cool calm and collected - all the time. He's so relaxed and chilled I just love it. He calms me down and I make him do fun things he would never otherwise have considered. We've discussed this "click" quite a lot and love it about each other.

The same difference goes for our families. While we both come from amazing homes, they are quite different. Thankfully all the important bits are the same - good, kind, fun, lovely to spend time in, full of excellent people who are generous with their time and attention at every moment... However! My folks and extended family can only be described as bonkers, while Handsome's clan are far more reserved! Our family makes a point of getting smashed at reunions and laughing themselves into oblivion, while Handsome's clan prefer sherry and tea - and cake. Oh I love the amount of cake that passes at their family gatherings. Must. Work. On. Baking. Skills. (Have zero).

Anyhoo they're kinda different. I was wondering how the mums would get along and a pal whose recent wedding was a roaring success told me how she handled it... She gave the mums a reason to chat to each other, so they started phoning each other regularly and became pals! The two good ladies got on like a house on fire - not surprisingly because their children were getting hitched. It worked well for her.

I'm trying the same tack. Both Mumsies are asking me about what colour t'other will be wearing on the big day, so I've suggested that they discuss it together - sure why not! I'm also inviting both to a portion (afternoon sober section) of the hen party next month. At least if they both feel they don't want to intrude they can decide together, but I've given my mum the task of arranging things with his mum. [Note: it is important to give each of your folks a to-do list when it comes to wedding planning, especially if you're organising most of it yourself - you need to make sure they feel involved in the run-up to it, it ensures they enjoy the day too - another good tip from the pal whose recent nuptials were an outstanding success...]

I'm really very lucky with the friends who've already gone through this, although they are small in number they are a fountain of good simple advice. In other news, I just bought those stamps...

Wedding Stress

Strange...

The only people who are not getting cranky about the weddings coming up are, in fact eh, those of us getting hitched!

Thank goodness for that, eh?

As for the rest? "Have you got your flowers yet? Have you got your DJ yet? Have you got your shoes yet? Have you lost enough weight, it doesn't look like it... Have you confirmed your invitations yet? Have you negotiated the overnight rate with your venue yet? Have you got a list of taxi companies from there to the local guesthouses yet? Have you spoken to the organist yet? Have you got the car yet? Have you..."

Do people not realise how ANNOYING IT IS TO KEEP ASKING the same questions over and over and over again? I'm a good project manager, I have a fricking to-do list, I'll get to it when I fricking get to it!

Listen - if I have news, I'll share it with you. IF I feel like it. If I feel your contribution would be welcome in some way. If I'm bored out of my tree and I have NOTHING MORE INTERESTING TO TALK ABOUT!

There is so much more going on in the world that is SO MUCH more interesting than fricking buttonholes. I'll button your hole if you keep it up.

*sigh*

I wish I could say that to some people, I really, really do.

THIS is why I didn't want a wedding. The amount of stress it involves for people who - let's face it - just aren't up to it. All the people I'm surrounding myself with - good friends, lovely cousins - all perfectly content to have the occasional wedding-conversation but - most importantly - go back to normal chats directly afterwards. I love them. It's the other folk (who I've been trying to avoid and I think it's making things worse) that are driving me up the walls. I even like talking about the weather more than church music and flowers. But there's rugby, there's Easter, there's Paddy's Day, there's friends' birthdays, there's family business, there's work, there's being-there-for-people, there's even the banking crisis and general political disasters to discuss, not just wedding favours and what colour bows go on the invitations. I just don't care! Give me a pretty invite that will get people to where the party is. That's all we need for crying out loud!

I'm so sorry if this rant seems out of place grating. I've absolutely had it with people creating fuss out of nothing. Yes I know I've a lot on at the moment but I'm not about to stop focusing on the dayjob so that I can work on one day in my life.

It will be a magical day, regardless of how many flowers you can fit in a vase on a table which sits 8 people.

Wedding Stamps

When doing up invitations we'll include an SAE in each one...

Which can be completed with specific wedding stamps from An Post...

Which last year were nice - just a picture of 2 entwined gold wedding bands.

The 2010 ones are different!

You can buy them online direct from An Post in a little booklet, they don't cost any more than a regular stamp - 55c each...

Turning it up a notch

Picking invitations - found 2 very similar invites from 2 different companies. Prices are a mile apart - for the convenience factor. 1/3 price = DIY jobbie. Thing is, I'm not the artiest craftiest person on the planet... Wonder if I can cut the ready-to-post chap's price in half... Hmmm...

Have made decision on wedding rings, ordering them tomorrow.

Make-Up & Hair Trials this weekend.

Wish people would get off my case trying to get other stuff done like buy shoes and underwear. Go away please, I will do all of these annoying things when I get to them. Now sod off. I refuse to stress about the little things.

I have such nice friends though. Ordering me to have a hen party and taking it on themselves to organise one. So kind... I'm very lucky :)

Honeymoon

Irish Summer Time is a shit time to go on holidays if you're going far away.

Hurricanes, winter time, monsoon season. That's all I'm hearing these days.

Note to self: if getting married again, make sure you look into honeymoons BEFORE you choose your date. BEFORE. Much better idea. DUH!

That is all.

What to ask the Venue

As requested by the lovely Rosie, here is a guide for what to ask the venue. I pinched this from one of the forums on Weddings Online, as it's even more comprehensive than the one I got from a friend... A few questions are repeated and a few are not even required but here is the full list I got off the website all related to the venue...


General Tips >>> What to ask the Venue Manager
-When will we need to provide final guest numbers?
-What is the minimum number required for the Ballroom, and are children included in this number?
-How many staff will be provided on the day - waiting and bar?
-Is there a smoking area off the ballroom?
-Is there a choice of table shapes, I.e. round, square.
-How many can each table seat - how many tables are there?
-What table layout do you recommend?
-Will there be someone I can liaise with who will be there on the day?
-What are the arrangements for greeting guests as they arrive?
-Do you number the tables or do we?
-Can you play music during the meal - CD?
-Will a staff member handle this, or will we need to find someone?
-Is there a stand for the table plan?
-Can a member of staff act as 'toastmaster' - announcer for speeches, cake cutting etc?
-What is the payment schedule?
-Who will be supervising on the day of the wedding?
-What costs are incurred if the guest numbers change last minute?
-Is there flexibility on the cost of the bar extension?
-Is there a limit to the number of day and evening guests?
-Are there any noise restrictions, e.g. for the band?
-Are fireworks allowed (not necessarily required, just checking!)?
-Do you include the bridal suite free of charge?
-Do we get a free night on our 1^st year anniversary?
-Do we get a reduced rate for the night before the wedding?
-Is it possible to have hairdressers and makeup artists come to our room on morning of the wedding.
-How can we ensure that rooms are reserved for VIP guests only - does this require a deposit?
-Is there a room we can safely store gifts etc during the day (other than a bedroom)?
-Will you inform us if there is another wedding on the same day as ours?
Food, Drink etc
-When do we need to decide on the menu?
-When can we come in for a menu tasting?
-Is it free of charge, do we get a free night in the hotel for this menu tasting?
-Will we be able to meet and liaise with the chef occasionally?
-Can we provide some alcohol for the evening reception?
-How much would you charge per glass of champagne, if we wished to offer a glass to each guest?
-When does the bar open?
-What happens to un-used wine and champagne?
-How long will the evening buffet be out until it is cleared away?
- How much afters food do you advise for 100 day guests and no afters guests?
-What is the children's menu - how much is it?
-What is the vegetarian option, when do we need to let you know numbers of vegetarians?
-is there a charge for choice of main course?
- is it possible to have some other dish in case main dish is not liked (eg. Chicken dish if beef main silent choice?)
-Can you cater for anyone with a special diet i.e. gluten free etc?
-Is there a cheaper food option available for photographer/band etc?
-Do you have high chairs available? How many?
-Is service charge included in the price?
-Will we be able to sample the house wine and house champagne before we choose our drinks package
- Bar extension -How much and until what time?

Cake
- Does the hotel provide a cake stand and what type is it?
- Is there a cover for the stand? What colour is it?
- When is it cut? How much is cut?
- Does hotel provide a cake knife?
-When should the wedding cake be delivered, and where will it be stored?
- Can we use wedding cake as dessert?

Decorations
-Who is responsible for decorating the venue - when is the room available?
-Who will decorate the tables?
-Can we have tea-lights/candles on the tables?
-What chair covers can be provided?
-Would someone be able to collect the decorations after the event, and we will arrange to have them taken them home the following day?
-Do you have any restrictions on decorations?
-What is the china/glassware like?
-Is confetti allowed outside of the building?
-What flowers/decorations etc are provided?
-Do you provide flowers for the top table?
-Will there be linen table cloths and napkins?
-Will someone be able to collect any decorations that we've brought so that we can collect them at some point after the reception?

Table Plan
- How is it displayed?
- When do we need to let the hotel know the names & numbers of guests and seating plan

Timings
-How long should we allow for reception drinks, meal etc?
-What is the best time that the evening guests should arrive?
-At what time should the wedding cake be served?
-What time will you serve the evening buffet?
-How long will the meal take to be served?
-What time should we book band?
-What time does DJ have to end?
-What time is bar close at?
-What time is residents bar open until? Is there residents bar?

Guest Information
-What is the check-in/out time for overnight guests?
-How will people buy additional alcohol during the meal?
-Is there anywhere for guests to store coats, bags etc?
-Will there be someone on hand to arrange taxis for departing guests?
-What time is breakfast served in the morning?

Payment
-How much of a deposit is required
-Percentage required before/after the day (proforma invoice issued)
-Is the service charge included
-If they numbers are slightly out on the day will it still cost
-Method (Credit card/cheque/cash)?
-When does the balance need to be paid?

Getting there

With a few months to go we have firmed up on a few things...

Hair trial and make-up trials have been booked for the end of February.

We have met with the Registrar and now are officially Licenced To Wed.

Introduced sets of parents to the celebrant.

Far-away family members have booked flights.

We are running through some pre-marriage stuff soon, it's so funny the questions they ask. I must say, it took The Handsome One a while to figure out how to answer some of the more relationshippy questions. I had read them ages ago and had time to think about all the areas covered, so when it came to answering I was a bit more ok with things. I think the experience will bring us closer - it has happened to other couples we know so I'm sure it'll happen to us too. Makes sense; if the experience so far is anything to go by ;)

We have been to see the venue to ask them All The Questions. I got a big list of What To Ask from a good friend who got hitched last year. I think it must be like the beacon of the B2B - when it's another friend's turn I will pass the torch. We had to give the venue a bit of an ass-kicking actually. We're fairly laid back people but they gave us some thunderingly bad customer service before Christmas and hadn't improved since. No deposit receipt, no copy of the contract sent... There were other details but I won't go into them. Hence our need to visit! The Handsome One - who is usually wonderfully reserved - calmly sat them down and told them he hoped that would be the end of the poor service. I was so chuffed when he did that, I had packed my angry eyes going in there and just had to sit and watch him be the man. What a guy...

Have since heard that our back-up venue (I'm a nerd, I have to have a plan B!) is in financial difficulty so I really fricking hope we're not going to have to pop a marquee in St Stephen's Green for the shindig!

In other news... The photographer and car bits are researched and booked, the music is 90% booked for the whole day and now my next hurdle is the invitations.

Picking the stationary is the easy bit here folks, it's what to write on the damn thing that's causing the hiccoughs. See, we ain't sure about the setup for the day. We have an idea what we'd like but there's nobody to guide us on this. So we're hesitant to make a wrong turn here. We'll figure it out of course, it's not rocket science. It's just a little more difficult that I would have expected. Hurrumph.

I'm looking forward to choosing the cake. I like cake.