I love being engaged

Sshhh, don't say that too loudly, it's a bit of a taboo. Can't be saying it out loud at all in fact, in case my non-partnered-up friends hear me and take offence or judge me or think I'm being mean to them.

I'm quite sensitive about that actually. I recoiled in horror at the weekend when one of my old pals just kept going on and on and on about her wedding plans, when you could see sad eyes on a few heads around her. Girls who've been in recent breakups or have those long term boyfriends who just can't commit. In one way I know the other B2B wants to talk about it but in another... You wouldn't go on and on about how great your mum was if a friend had recently lost hers would you? Hmmm. Maybe that's a bad comparison but that's how I feel about it.

Secretly...I've always had this romantic notion that a long engagement would be wonderful. The pre-engagement era is nice, you're very close as a couple and it's lovely and you might even live together! But engagement is just the business. It feels different. Talking to a good friend who had been with her beau a long time and finally bought a ring, she kept saying "why didn't we do this years ago?" It feels great. Once we're married it'll be all grown up stuff so I'm privately quite content with the long run up to this day-long-party business.

I love being engaged! It's such a nice time in life. The excitement, the expectation, the sparkle... Went to a wedding recently, my first as a fiancée. It was nice, different, I'm not sure how to describe it. I felt more excited for the bride and could see and understand the true sparkle in her eyes. She glowed! Just genuine happiness all over her face, it was magical.

My favourite photograph of the day is one where the bride is hugging the groom from behind, resting her head on his back and he is standing there with his arms hugging hers. They look so peaceful and content, they had no idea I was taking the snap and were just relaxing at the edge of the party, taking it all in. I hope to have lots of quiet beautiful moments like that when we have our special day.

For the moment, I will just keep enjoying the engagement and keep my twinklie happy thoughts to myself.

In the news...

A lot of people are talking about where to get married now that more & more people are becoming disillusioned with the church.

It was on Today FM last week for example - questions on where you can get married on a Saturday, if not in a church? We are all wondering how long it will take before the registry offices are open at weekends.

Ironically of all the weddings I'm going to this & next year, the ones in churhces are all on Thursdays & Fridays, while muggins here was hoping for a Saturday but really wasn't pushed on the whole clergy thing.

Thought: can I go into a Church of Ireland church and say that I am of no religion? If that was feasible then I wouldn't have to ask permission to marry the man of my dreams, from some man in a frock who doesn't know me from Eve. In order to gain said permission I would normally have had to lie, promising to raise currently non-existent children in a church which has long lost my respect.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in God. I just don't believe in the RC Church. For me there is a huge difference.

For now I'm just wondering, like everyone else, when the opening hours for non-church weddings will change. For the moment it looks like we'll have to settle for an official day & a white-dress day. Unless we go to his church and I don't have to lie to do it.

This is bril

Sorry I haven't been here in a while, truth be told I've had nada to write about - been doing no wedding planning of late, but playing bridesmaid rather than B2B.

But this post is worthy of a mention, lots of points I wholeheartedly agree with, particularly those on first dances & speeches!

Have a read of what Nutty Cow has to say!

Trying on Goonaz

I've been trying on dresses lately - not white ones - because I need a gúna for a summer wedding far away, and I'm a Maid.

As a result of my distance from said wedding, I have to find my own dress, which is fun. It's like a little training ground for when I'm searching for a white(-ish!) one next year.

I've tried high street shops and "appointment only" boutiques, during week days and weekends. The difference in service in unbelievable! The ladies in Debenhams are absolutely lovely. Ladies in small country boutiques - also pretty wonderful. Brown Thomas? Oh lá lá (I went in for the craic) the experience was just magic. So patient, so kind and helpful, it was a real pleasure. I'll be back (again just for the craic) to try a few posh frocks in ivory when I get the time. Ms Wang eat your heart out. Ah, a girl can dream...

Some of the smaller boutiques? SNOOTY! It's like a conveyor belt, ladies rushing you here and there, putting you under pressure to choose & get out, thrusting their card with a price on it saying things like "you have to order it today" etc etc. - hello people, I'm not buying a car. I'm also not completely stupid. Most of the shops were shocked at my efficiency of taking an armful of dresses into a curtained area, stepping out, looking in the mirror and in less than 30 seconds going, "No. Next!" The abovementioned lovlies were even giving me extra dresses and chatting a bit more about options saying things like "we've loads of time, would you like to try this one too?" Then the conveyor-belt places. What a contrast!

I don't really want to name & shame the shite ones here. I will be going back for the white dresses (well let's face it, a snotty salesperson is not worth avoiding the whole place for, if the right dress is there behind them somewhere in the forest of white) so I will give them one more chance. But if they are rude, hurried or impatient again I will both name and shame. My mum will be with me next time too. She'll glare them into shape ;o)


PS I was sooooo disappointed with the selection of gúnas in Monsoon, Richard Allen & Pamela Scott...

What are you looking for?

I just had a little look to see what people are searching for when they come across this little blog.

Top terms were:
weddings + materialism
weddings + shallow
weddings + sad
weddings + small

I won't mention the others, they were too funny :o)

Anyway, I just wanted to say hello to those searching for a kindred spirit, I hope you find something of use here & if not, let me know where you do find it!

***Channelling happy thoughts of stress-free fuss-free days for all***

***I mean in fairness, who wants to be wrecked on their honeymoon?!?***

Telling the Outlaws

We sat down with his folks last week and told them what our wedding/party plans were for next year. They were really very nice about everything, not minding at all that we wanted a private ceremony and just a simple party afterwards, nothing fancy or traditional.

Then The Handsome One went over for dinner one evening, sans moi and the discussions ensued.

"Why don't you just get married abroad?"

"If there is just a handful of us, why not use a registry office instead of a big echo-y church? We'll look silly."

"Why are you waiting til next year, just get married now?"

They were the top three of all the stuff that came up. Reopen the floodgates of doubt, reopen that huge flipping box that me & Pandora had firmly shut three weeks ago. (I've been sleeping awfully well since, you know)

Response to Q1: Out of respect. Because we figured it would be too much to ask the clans. (both his & mine - mine's had 2 in the past 12 months, I couldn't ask them to go again!)

Response to Q2: Because he likes the idea of getting hitched in a church, it's important to him. He doesn't want to commit to me in a cold room that feels like a solicitor's office - to him, it's more than just the legal side of things, which I personally respect... Plus, I've heard that some people have been terribly unlucky in where their local registry office is located. Not that I've looked into ours, mind. Didn't need to...

Response to Q3: Oh my God I'm not even going to get into this one... (Note to self: stop throwing eyes to heaven, people don't like that, not even when you're laughing at the same time)

So, after all that...

Cue me asking "what do you think?" to the Handsome One more often than I should have, only to be met with "I don't know," and, "I haven't thought about it yet," which I really didn't believe...

Eventually we got back to the original "I want a big wedding," response, which was absolutely fine, because I still want to elope, so we're back to where we were at the aforementioned Pandora-Box-Closing incident.

Why is nothing straightforward?

Decision Time

I've been faffing about for long enough about what type of wedding to have. A compromise was being sought, these past weeks. Wondering how to meet "I would like a party" with "I would like to elope" - a challenge, no?

So here it is. No pomp, no officious ceremony involving a few hundred of my "closest" friends.

A private ceremony, less than 20 people. Some photos in the park. Lunch in a good restaurant and a nice relaxing afternoon with our nearest and dearest. Meet up with 80 people who we also love spending time with, somewhere fun for a bit of a bop and maybe some nibbles. No speeches. No "first dance" etc. Maybe just a toast (we like bubbles, they taste goooood).

And maybe some cake. That's it.

He'll wear a nice suit and I'll get myself a gúna. No tails ;) No groomsmen. Nobody is going to hold my frigging "train" coz there won't be one.

Sin é, Batman.