Advice

For the peeps who have got engaged recently, some tips!

1. Get yourself a good Wedding Planner Book.  A nice succinct one - some are over the top, some read like a magazine. This one here has really straightforward worksheets and reminders lists for what you should have done 12, 9, 6, 3, 2 and 1 month before the event itself. Check it over, tick stuff off, bob's your mother's brother.

2. Consider beautiful sillk flowers. Surprisingly inexpensive - same price as the real thing - and so much prettier for so much longer. I have dried my bouquet and it just doesn't look as good as these pretty samples I received some months ago...

3. Be organised and remember to thank the people who put so much into your special day - write lists of what people do for you in the run up, so that you can thank them in the personal cards after the event. It makes it so much nicer for people to receive, they really appreciate it!

4. When you get back from honeymoon, don't forget to send away for your marriage cert!  You will need to prove you are married if you are availing of tax benefits, applying for a new driving licence if you are changing your name - everything.  Plus, it's just nice to have ;)  Legally bound to another forever, woo. 

5. Enjoy your honeymoon, don't forget to take pictures!!  We took so few it's hilarious, the pair of us usually take bajillions of photos everywhere we go, but we were so relaxed just taking it all in that I only have some phone pictures to share!

And then we came home...

And it has been so lovely since we got home. The past three months have been blissful. Not just because we're in "The Honeymoon Zone" - after all we were Living in Sin(!) beforehand.  But because we have time to spend with friends, or just working in our little house, making it nice again after all the wedding madness.  Back to reality?  Back to normality more like.

And.

I.

Love it.

Logging Off...

So we're getting close now and my time is a little... under pressure... 

Sorry if I haven't been engaging much on the comments side these past few weeks. It's been manic. 

Guests have started arriving - literally landing in from overseas.  Planes Trains & Automobiles here we go. 

Thanks for listening/reading... Good luck to any B2B's out there; I hope you experience goes well!

See you on the other side...

A Day Off

Handsome One is bringing me to the cinema later.  I insisted that we have a wedding-free evening so that's what we're going to have.  I hope you enjoy yours :)

Seating Table Plan

Try not to worry too much about this, because many of our friends have told us that this was one of the most difficult things about getting married. 

We must have been either very lucky with who RSVP'd or else we're just very lucky generally with our lot of pals and clan folk.  We didn't have a problem with it at all.  Our family neatly fitted into three tables, our top table spilled onto two and we have five tables of friends.  Not all numbers are the same but as we are using round tables there's no issue, nobody will notice.  We reckon.  We hope. 

For the tables that have different groups of friends at them we kept the groups to 4 and 4, or two couples each, that worked quite well.  There is one seriously fun-table (that's how I grade them, in terms of fun to be had) which I think I'd like to be at...  No, can't, must sit with husband.

That's a good way to do it we think - pop your guests onto tables, then study the tables and give it a fun rating out of 10.  80% or higher gets you approved ;)

Wedding Flip Flops

How cute are these? 

Wedding Food Tasting Extravaganza

This bit is most fun. 

We got the sample menus ages ago and forgot about them.  More than 4 weeks before the event generally, you have your tasting evening. 

This consists of every member of staff at your venue fawning over you for the evening as you sample most of the delights which you hope to present to your guests on the big day.  It's difficult to narrow things down if you like your food like we do, so we asked for extra dishes, not just the standard two.  To be fair to them, since there has been so much horrible stuff going on with the venue recently they coughed up and gave us what we asked for.  [Note: first time we've felt like they were going to make some effort to make our day nice. Thank goodness for small mercies - we were much more relaxed after the evening.]

It's difficult narrowing down your choices as I said, but when it came down to it there were clear winners in every round.  I just hope everyone else likes our courses as much as we do! 

Oh, and we got to sample a load of different wines as well, which was MOST fun.  [Note2: bring a driver with you if at all possible.]

We even got to bring our favourites home with us.

See? They DO know how to turn on the charm.

There was some debate over who we should bring to the tasting, if anyone at all.  Some people choose to bring the parents, some choose to bring the chief bridesmaid and best man, some choose to bring nobody at all.

Whatever you decide to do, just relax and enjoy your evening - enjoy people making a fuss - and get used to it!  And remember to make the most of it with your Handsome One, because apparently the day itself passes in a blur and you won't remember the small details - nice to remember the tasting event as a nice evening together. 

Wedding Tan Possible Solution

Rather than having another disastrous experience with a spray tan I decided to give the old tinted moisturiser another whirl.  If I'm very, very careful it just might work. 

All I'm looking for is a healthy glow atop my current freckletastic face.  The recent sunshine has meant that my freckles are out in full swing and hey, I like them, so at least that's something. 

My first tinted moisturising experience all those years ago was when J&J holiday skin came on the market.  They sold out everywhere and our entire office had THAT almighty whiff even though just 2 of us were trying it out.  I put it all over my face that first day, in innocent/ignorance. 

Since then I've tried many different types and always end up reverting to Dove.  It smells the least obnoxious and goes on naturally, onto my skintone.  Whenever I wear it people say I'm looking well - as opposed to when I tried out the spray tan and they actually commented on the tan itself. 

So I'm sitting here typing away having started to put a little on daily, for about 4 days now.  And it seems to be working!  I look a little healthier and I feel a bit brighter in my clothes so at least that's something.  Ideally I would have the time to sit out in the garden for 20 mins every day but right now all my spare time is taken up with shopping and organising and meeting suppliers. When I'm not doing that I'm having to meet with family to discuss various things.  The joys.

Dovetastic... I think we may have a winner...

Volcano Threat

How did I miss this last week? 

News that the dragon may be done to sleep for another little while.  The Eyjafjallajökul Volcano seems to have gone quiet - this could mean...  That our guests will be able to fly, and that maybe possibly hopefully our honeymoon can happen....  Dare we hope?

It has been adding to the stress, I must admit.

Hot Tip

When trying to grow your nails (and as an ex-nail-biter to boot) don't grow them so long in your excitement that they break (badly) half-way down the nail bed.  Especially don't do it by agressive gardening (i.e. losing temper with stubborn weeds dagnabbit) in the vain hope that spending time out of doors will also flourish your "tan" (for "tan" read "freckle farm").

That will be all for today. 

Les Fleurs

A wee fleur for the mums
A wee fleur for the bro's & sisters
A buttonhole for the dads, witness & my Handsome One
A wee BooKay for my witness

A wee BooKay for me

A splash of fleur-related colour on the alter, at the church door and the top pew ends

A wee splash of colour on the dining tables

An enormous number of flowers draped over as yet unfinished changes to function room (better to be prepared, in case they really don't finish in time)

Remember when I advised you to delegate?   Thank the gods I did just that.  When florists start talking about the fleur names in Latin my eyes glaze over.  All I want to say is "can't you just make it nice?" coz I really don't know what they're on about at all.  Thank goodness for having fleur-related people in the family.  Fleur-relations.  Phew.

World Cup Wedding Clash

A surprising number of people are asking if we're going to have a big screen at our wedding...

We thought carefully about dates and things so that this wouldn't happen - we're avoiding anything that's relevant to our small island nation. 

So we find out now that it doesn't just clash with one sporting event, but two.  Neither of which Ireland is involved in, therefore I think I'm well within my rights not to give a hoot. 

No there will NOT be a big screen at our wedding.  At first I thought people were joking but now I'm getting texts & emails about it.  Guests.  Genuinely concerned that they may not be able to watch their men folk running around after a ball.  Because we'll be feasting on a meal that a lot of planning has gone into.  Planning, mostly for them.  Not for me remember, I wanted none of this, and now that we've put all this damn work in, said guests... 

I just can't even finish that sentence.  I'm getting really fcuking fed up at this stage. 

Wedding Bra, Wedding Shoes

Well this was interesting.

Went into a few shops over the last 2 weekends looking for underthings for The Dress.  I'll be needing the bra for the final fitting, not to mention shoes.  Hhmmm, shoes...

Two SUPER helpful places I went to (didn't need to go any further) were Brown Thomas and Peaches & Cream.  Both shops have super helpful ladies in there who don't gush and "OMG" too much when you tell them you're getting married soon, they just guide you to the things that will look good on you.  Geniuses all. 

There was a young lady in Peaches & Cream who is worried about not having her bra in time for her first fitting which is in three weeks' time!  How MAD am I thinking it's totally normal to go searching for unmentionable underthings after you've started your fittings?  Quite, apparently.  The lady in there was so prepared she had brought her dress in with her.  Fair fricking play to her for being so organised.  I'm all over the bloody place and not at all bothered.  Sure it's just a bra. 

Re: Shoes?  Have a look here and just GUESS.  They're SO PRETTY!!!!!!!!

Bride-to-Be Guide to Handling Pre-Wedding Stress

You may as well know, a host of things will probably go wrong as you try to organise your day - big wedding or not. I'm not being pessimistic, just realistic. Suppliers may falter, family may cause hiccoughs, people may pass away unexpectedly, an ash cloud may descend! The point is, you have to be able to take care of yourself and not let all the stress get to you so much that it takes over your life. It's only one day, remember?

Some ways that I have been able to survive:

• Substitute camomile tea for some of your cups of coffee - less jitters, less nerves
• Before you go to sleep, use some lavendar moisturiser on your shoulders, neck and hands so that is soothes you to sleep - you don't have to go to L'Occitane and spend a fortune, Boots have a lovely one!
• If things do start to get to you and you feel anxious all the time, pop into your local pharmacy and talk to the nice ladies behind the counter.  They may recommend a natural plant/herb extract which could help you relax, such as Kalms - they're not that expensive and the wee bottle lasts for ages
• Try to make some non-wedding time for you and your spouse-to-be; by this I mean, go back to something you used to love doing before you got engaged.  Be it a walk on your favourite beach, dinner in your favourite cheap&cheerful, a trip to the IFI or a match in your local GAA/soccer/rugby club to get the blood pumping. It's amazing how helpfully refreshing a match can be. I screamed and roared at Leinster in the RDS last Sunday and felt amazing afterwards - so relaxed!  Forgot all about the venue from hell for 2 hours and just had a blast with my betrothed - cannot recommend it highly enough to ease the stress. 
• Politely ask people who ring you 7 times a day about wedding things, to please not call you quite so often as you are quite busy, and need to structure your wedding-talk time a little more.  So only call at lunchtime or after work about wedding stuff. 
• If it helps - turn off your voicemail!!  Similarly annoying, 7 messages a day when you dial 171 can get to you.  Your mobile beeping, emails whizzing in, landlines hopping - it all works against you to create an atmosphere of pressure when lets face it - that's not what it's meant to be about.

Ultimately, communication is key.  If anything is getting to you, tell the people around you - that's what best friends, bridesmaids, sisters, aunts, grannies, cousins and mums are for.  They love you and will only be too delighted to help in any way they can. Sharing is caring, right?!  

Delegation is also extremely important.  Try to put anything that goes wrong into a category.  If it is family related, get your Pops onto it to help sort it out.  If it is flowers-related, get whoever in your clan is the best gardener to have a word with the florist and sort it out.  If it is food related, get the cuddly-grub-fan in your group of mates to help you with some suggestions.  NB: Ask. For. Help. 

This is not what you want:

You want to be like this!!!!

Or like this!!!

Dress Fitting and Whatnot

The dress fittings have commenced. I've been ordered to purchase shoes and unmentionable underthings to ensure all the remaining wobbly bits are secure. Honestly, it's like a military operation. Good friends all signing up to come with me for these horrific experiences, although part of me knows that it's just to point and laugh (for if you cannot laugh at your friends....well where's the fun in that?!)

It's funny, I don't know why everyone wants to be a part of all these annoying things so much. I don't enjoy them terribly much (not liking my shape may have something to do with it but I'll have to suck it up [and in] and just accept that I am this shape and that's that) and I'm wondering why there is so much enthusiasm to attend avec moi?

I don't disrespect them enough to ask, I just find it interesting. If a little puzzling.

My good (recently married) friends have warned me about this. In the last 2 months leading up to The Event, apparently your life turns into a series of to-do lists which you scratch off and amend every half of every day. It's true! All of it. Lists, lists, lists. Even Handsome One has some. He was NEVER a list sort of guy at home (had many at work I believe) and now he's in a panic if he loses the small piece of scrap paper that he wrote many important things on. Panic does something to his memory too, because he can never remember what he wrote on it. It's so funny! Writing things down manages to aid my memory, which is handy.

After much hilarity looking at wedding candle TAT (if you're bored, do google them, they can be so tacky and amusing, I find it v.funny) we've had the sensible chat with the vicar and are going to just use normal candles in his lovely candelabra-yokie. Apparently the good lady who does the church flowers puts some nice fleurs around the candles and makes them look all purty. Suits us!! Yes indeedie, let someone else worry about them... It's the symbolism that's important to us, nothing else. I likes the vicar. He be sensible and whatnot.

When I say normal candles I mean something like this...


The Handsome One is sorting some stuff out for us this week. If I get involved in any more of the problem solving I may just start shouting at someone. I never - ever - wanted to turn into a Bridezilla and thankfully thus far I don't think I'm getting there. In fact some married-friends are wondering why I'm not kicking up more of a holy stink about certain venue related things. The truth is, it's not that important. What's important is that my family have their flights booked and they're coming over (I LOVED getting those emails with landing time details, so exciting), what's important is that we have our rings, and a date with a vicar. If the walls fall down during dinner it'll make a great story for the grandkids.

That said, I'm very, very glad that my Handsome man is going to sort a few things out and not take and crap from anyone. He's not opening a discussion, he said, he is just going to insist upon a few things. Calmly.

Hero.

A Plague!

Email inbox - full of unresolved questions from suppliers regarding minute details

SMS inbox - full of messages asking (a) if we have a wedding list [no] and (b) what the accommodation situation is for the night of the party

Office line - constantly ringing from work and non-work peeps asking about wedding related things

Dreams - full of wedding related themes

Before I fall asleep - wedding related anxiety, asking questions in my head, running through to-do lists

Remember at the start of this blog, 15 months ago, I said I didn't want a wedding?

FORFCUKSAKE!

Who was I kidding. This is bliss!* Wonderful, seriously, who wouldn't want the stress. Turns out, even though I no longer have time to play sports or plan a diet (eating on the hoof is the WORST for me), turns out you burn calories in a direct correlation to the size of the knot in your stomach.

Cool.

* denotes sarcasm

Romantic Songs

This isn't going to be the sort of gathering where you have speeches and cake cutting and first dances; this is just a party after a private ceremony. How and ever...

Listening to my favourite music medium of late, The Radio, one of my favourite songs came on, and I listened once again to the lyrics. They make up the sort of message I'd like to deliver to The Handsome One - the top 5 lines are about marriage in general, while the bottom 2 lines are really just about the honeymoon ;)

I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath: Truly, madly, deeply
I will be strong, I will be faithful
'Cause I'm counting on a new beginning, a reason for living, a deeper meaning...

I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea

OK so, enough of the slushie love stuff. Back to planning and organising and barking orders like a tyrant.

The song is Truly, Madly, Deeply by Ozzie chaps Savage Garden - I've amended them slightly

Goodness. Me.

So you know about skeletons in closets and all that sort of jazz. You possibly have a few. It seems that the "normal" in normal families is that we each have our strange and wonderful different things about our heritage and backgrounds.

I've been fretting for months about a possible explosion at the forthcoming nuptial bash. It happens in families, although most will put a sock in it for the sake of the bride and groom.

It seems that my family is no different. An RSVP arrived this week from the black sheep of the family. We've rowed over whether to invite this sheep because they rub my parents up the wrong way. Our concerns were personal, so rather than create an issue for the rest of the clan (imagine: "where's so-and-so?" then it would all come tumbling out...) we decided to invite everyone, try to keep as many people as happy as possible and hope for the best.

The RSVP arrived in the negative, but with a long letter of explanation attached. Lots of lovely words of kindness for The Handsome One & I, and then the explanation: they can't stand the rest of the clan (those for whom the invitation was primarily extended) and with the auld vino flowing at the party, couldn't guarantee that there wouldn't be a brawl. OK I'm paraphrasing for dramatic effect but that was the gist of it.

Who'da thunk it?

It's so strange. I'm both relieved and puzzled all at the same time. It means we can relax and not worry about fits of anger (woo, we sound like a bunch of crazies, honestly we're not *that* bad) but seriously. Who knew?

I think I must have been an ostrich in a past life. I've no idea what's going on...

Families, eh?

What do you love about getting married?

The best bits of getting married and planning for marriage to the one you love

- Spending lots of time with The Handsome One
- Getting a Licence to Wed - a very fun experience - oooh, licence to wed
- Posting the invitations (no escape now!)
- Having some deep & meaningfuls about life, beliefs, the future, our happiness together
- Thinking about how much we mean to each other - and telling each other
- Spending even more time with The Handsome One
- Friendships coming out in full bloom to lend a hand at stressful moments
- Those same friends celebrating important life long friendships in the form of hen and stag parties
- The chuffed look on people's faces when you tell them you want them there with you for some special moments - be it a dress fitting or shoe shopping
- The excitement that everybody else feels (and expresses!) because you have found the one you love
- Phone calls coming at the right time from the best kind of people, just when you need them
- Hearing words of wisdom from wrinkly relatives who wistfully remember their own marriage ceremonies and wedding breakfasts back in the 1940's!
- My mum telling us "apparently it rained on our wedding day - I didn't notice"
- Unexpected hugs from out-of-office work colleagues who may not see me again before the big day
- Booking honeymoon
- Starting to purchase clothing for said honeymoon
- Having a pre-marriage course with a marriage counsellor telling us we're going to be alright and are a steady ship heading in the right direction so far (key: communication)
- Choosing readings for ceremony
- Choosing music for ceremony
- Planning an hour or so between ceremony and meeting crowd at party to spend with new husband in some peace and quiet
- Getting excited about calling each other "wife" and "husband"
- Looking forward to having all the silly planning out of the way so that we can just simply go in there and commit to each other for the rest of our lives
- Getting emails from distant relatives with "Flights Booked!!" in the subject line
- Getting text messages from friends going "I've just bought my outfit for your wedding!"
- RSVP cards flooding in
- More conservative ladies asking "Where are you going to live after you get married" and our confusion at that - "Why, our house of course..." (Currently) Living In Sin FTW!
- Thinking about what a lovely whirlwind this romance has been...for all five years!

Wedding Update

Moving into the final countdown now...

We sent out the invitations - and took some amusing photographs of us fighting with the postbox to get them in/out again. Now all we have to do is wait for the RSVP's to come flooding in.

We've also sent out a list of B&B's and Guesthouses around the area where people from Far Far Away can maybe stay.

I wish I was more organised but it's all a higgledy piggledy mess at the moment. Work is crazy busy, especially since people have realised I'll be taking a month off during the summer, so they're all running into me to ensure their stuff gets done... Understandable I suppose. I should be pleased they've realised this far in advance!

The dress has arrived and fittings will commence next week. The suit is almost ready. Now for the shoes...

Latest debacle is The Mothers' outfits. Mother-in-law to-be seems to be super-prepared but my own is a little less so. She's a bit more stylish than most mums so the standard Mother-of-the-Bride fare doesn't really swing it for her. The rest aren't special enough. Oh the challenges! Mum's fab looking so quite possibly going to look better than me on the day, no surprises there - if you knew us, that is. I'm a lump of a daughter and she's teeny tiny. I take after my dad, oh well!

My witness's dress is all ready to go as far as I know, so things are moving along. I'm pretty sick of talking about it and working on it but there's not much time for much else at the moment. It's either that or work!

We'll have to meet the florist soon and go through what we would like. My witness chose her own dress and it's quite a contrast to mine so we'll have to think about what will work for us both. And the buttonholes.

So much for not wanting the traditional wedding, this thing has turned into a circus. A circus I tell you! I was warned... But it's still a bit disappointing. Word is out that we haven't invited all the cousins, so I think there are a few aunties and uncles with noses out of joint. We've a big family and we wanted a small wedding! You do the math... I barely see them from one end of the year to another so I didn't think they would be expecting an invitation to include their children, whom I have not seen in 10 years. I don't think that's unreasonable! I've had to leave friends off the list to keep it small and random family people kick up stink? Hmm.

As my lovely witness often suggests... "lick it, stick it, and mail it to someone who gives a sh!t."

Sorry - do I sound fed up? I'm not really. Just jaded.

Yes ok, maybe a little...

The Handsome One said last night, as we were covered in pritt stick and ribbons..."I didn't realise it was going to be so much work..." Like yes dear, what did you think I was trying to avoid by suggesting an elopement?! It may be a selfish solution but who cares...it's our wedding... Oh that it were an option...

Flee I tell you! FLEE to another land far far away to get hitched to the one you love. Let it all be just about your love for each other and let nobody interfere with that. Let no detail of ribbons or flowers get in the way of your committment to another human being.

Unless you want it to of course!

But if you're just in love and just want to be married, please take it from someone who knows...it's not worth it. You won't please everyone, you WILL end up a ball of stress because all the things that you worry might go wrong probably will, and at the end of the day the result will be the same: you will end up married to the man of your dreams. Does it really matter what way the day is once you achieve that objective?

Temporary Panic Sets In...and Out again

I seem to be cruising along just fine in the run up to the last couple of months to this day out. I think maybe it's because I tap into the to-do list almost every day and get emails from various suppliers to make sure we're all on track.

I do update The Handsome One about this - also on a daily basis - but I think perhaps it just goes over his head.

Why?

Well...because this weekend he was hell bent on spending time "on the wedding" and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what he meant. All the appointments have been made, for fittings and adjustments and collections and viewings and checks and all that sort of thing. I was *sure* we were on course!

He sat, at my laptop, for about an hour and a half going through the budget, the to-do list, the running order for the 3 days (wedding-eve prep, wedding-day fun, post-wedding responsibilities...), the "who's paying for what" list - everything. I asked - only twice - "whatcha doin?" to try to figure out what he was at but in the end just wandered off and left him to it.

90 mins later he meanders into the kitchen (where I was left to prepare dinner - again!) and gives me a big hug. There was genuine relief in that hug. I think he just wanted to see where we were at, and was pleasantly surprised to see that everything was on track and running as smoothly as it can under venue circumstances. Even the safety nets and plan B's are in place at the moment; I've contingency coming out my ears.

So back to it.

...what's next for today...?