I love being engaged

Sshhh, don't say that too loudly, it's a bit of a taboo. Can't be saying it out loud at all in fact, in case my non-partnered-up friends hear me and take offence or judge me or think I'm being mean to them.

I'm quite sensitive about that actually. I recoiled in horror at the weekend when one of my old pals just kept going on and on and on about her wedding plans, when you could see sad eyes on a few heads around her. Girls who've been in recent breakups or have those long term boyfriends who just can't commit. In one way I know the other B2B wants to talk about it but in another... You wouldn't go on and on about how great your mum was if a friend had recently lost hers would you? Hmmm. Maybe that's a bad comparison but that's how I feel about it.

Secretly...I've always had this romantic notion that a long engagement would be wonderful. The pre-engagement era is nice, you're very close as a couple and it's lovely and you might even live together! But engagement is just the business. It feels different. Talking to a good friend who had been with her beau a long time and finally bought a ring, she kept saying "why didn't we do this years ago?" It feels great. Once we're married it'll be all grown up stuff so I'm privately quite content with the long run up to this day-long-party business.

I love being engaged! It's such a nice time in life. The excitement, the expectation, the sparkle... Went to a wedding recently, my first as a fiancée. It was nice, different, I'm not sure how to describe it. I felt more excited for the bride and could see and understand the true sparkle in her eyes. She glowed! Just genuine happiness all over her face, it was magical.

My favourite photograph of the day is one where the bride is hugging the groom from behind, resting her head on his back and he is standing there with his arms hugging hers. They look so peaceful and content, they had no idea I was taking the snap and were just relaxing at the edge of the party, taking it all in. I hope to have lots of quiet beautiful moments like that when we have our special day.

For the moment, I will just keep enjoying the engagement and keep my twinklie happy thoughts to myself.

Got engaged

The Handsome One got down on one knee some time before Christmas and asked that question, making me glow and twinkle like I don't know what. We kept our little secret for some time, unable to stop smiling and just generally enjoyed the thrills. Went shopping one day and after a few visits around our fair city found the perfect ring, then went to inform our parental units. Joy, tears and bubbles all 'round. Cue telephone ringing off the hook, messages flooding in from overseas and down the road. Everyone we know has been so kind and generous, we didn't expect quite so many people to be so delighted for us. It's a humbling experience.

The last few weeks have passed in a sort of blur. It's like the circus has come to town only I'm hovering above it all on the trapeze wire, wondering what all the fuss is about. The Handsome One is there too, on the opposite wire, smiling away. He is just happy to be engaged. So am I! I think that's exactly it. I love being engaged and very much look forward to being married, spending my life with such a Handsome One, getting lots of laughter lines. It's the bit in between that's causing my heart to race - and not in a good way.

I have received crazy wedding tips from virtual strangers, been overwhelmed by people's reactions and overloaded with guidebooks on how to be a bride and all the whistles, bells and general fluff that goes with it. It's nice to see so many girls all excited about their big days, I just can't help feeling like a complete tool because I'm not going off the deep end about one day in my life. The focus seems to be totally on the bride here, when I thought I just committed to sharing my life with another being. Ironically, I'm usually bouncing off walls 'n' things, people generally think I'm nuts and here I am being totally removed from princess-madness. Hhmmm.

I have found some great websites that are far more useful than the crazy books I've been leafing through. Ciara over at weddingdates.ie seems reasonably sane ;) Plus, the tips over at wed.ie are far more practical than the "don't ask someone to be your bridesmaid if they've slept with your groom" advice. Ugh.

I decided to start a blog dedicated to recording the experience of being a person who did not inherit a wedding gene. I'm not even fond of the phrase "bride-to-be" which for me conjures up connotations of grand stress. So I might just call it B2b for the craic. Maybe. I think Genie might be better. Simply because I fear a little magic will be required to get through all the fuss!

Pic from wed.ie