Dresses

Comment from The Handsome One upon seeing all the bridal wear mags lying about the sitting room: "Why are none of them smiling? Isn't it meant to be a dress worn on the happiest day of your life? They've all faces like slapped arses! Ted, I'm hugely confused."

So the hunt has begun, in relative earnest what with time getting away from me for a wee while there. I've taken to booking dress-looking appointments en route from work by myself, because coordinating my one diary with that of a dress shop is difficult enough without finding a pal/cousin/parent whose diary is also free. I figure that I can scope out a few nice dresses by myself and then only drag the family/slaves with me when I have something worth seeing. Good idea? Hope so...

It's a bit mad that every single weekend over the last 2 months has been busy, and will remain so for the next 6 weeks at least. So the evenings will just have to do! Also going to book a morning/afternoon off work and hit two shops in a half-day now and again in order to get around more shops. It does mean taking 2 or 3 half days from work but (a) my boss is fabulous and lets me work up the time, and (b) my bride-pals have told me from their experience that the weekdays are far less stressful in dress shops. Not only that but it's not worth trying to fit 15 shops into one Saturday because it's just too much darn hard work getting in and out of those massive gowns.

Gosh I hope some of them aren't massive. I'd love a simple dress with just enough sparkle to match my smile-pings on the day...

More later.

I think I have it! A solution to the ceremony venue problem.

I wrote a good few months ago (here) about trying to decide what venue to choose when it comes to getting married - as in, the ceremony itself.

The main issue for me, was asking some random priest for permission to get married. On 2 counts - one, to marry at all - which everyone has to do. Two, to marry in a venue which is not an RC church - we had to get special dispensation from on high, a bishop or some such.

I'm a (pigheaded) independent person and I really have difficulty with the fact that he or I should have to ask a stranger's permission to get married. Not only that, but in order to obtain said permission, the RC party has to swear that they will do everything in their power to raise any children we may have in the future, as Mini-RC'ers.

Eh, no. Have you seen the church lately? Damien flagged something interesting on Sunday about it. I will not be raising any chizzlers in a church that hasn't sorted itself out yet. And I'm not going to solemnly swear that I will do so either! Why start a marriage on a lie?

Aside: it has been argued that if we really want to marry that we will cross these "hurdles" and be done with it, because being married is the ultimate goal. While I appreciate that sentiment, it [lying in order to get what you want] does not sit well with me so I kept looking.

So, I have found a solution, I think. One that respects both parties. There's an interesting word for the Catholic church to think about when looking inwardly at their own problems...respect! As in, respect your flock...

It is still possible to have a church wedding, without all the above mentioned rigmarole. You can get married in an Anglican Church, with a lovely friendly (open minded) rector who will go through the kind of ceremony you are happy with, incorporating as much religious stuff as you need or want, without having to go to a registry office. If you still have faith but are disgusted with the RC church right now, you don't have to sacrifice your ceremony. According to the chap we met this weekend in our local CoI church, he has married quite a few 100% RC couples who were just miffed with the permission thing and simply wanted to be married in the eyes of the law and in a church. I had no idea this was an option! How lovely! We don't have to quit one church and sign up to another in order to do it, this particular rector was warm, welcoming and friendly - but not in a way that suggests "hehehe, I'll just notch another one up on the flock-register, harhar..."

We have to be aware that "our marriage will not be recognised in the eyes of the Catholic Church" because of a Vatican decree stating that all couples who wish to marry have to get a blessing from a "real" priest etc. etc. but that would be the case if we were getting married in a hotel or registry office by a civil servant, so hey, if this shoe fits... The Vatican doesn't see vicars or rectors or pastors as men of the cloth anyway - never mind the lady vicars (sorry Geraldine!)

I just wanted to share this information here. I think there are a lot more people out there like us, who wish to marry officially without being constrained to the 9-5 of the registry office. It has taken me months to find this solution and I am so happy we have found it. I hope someone who has the same conundrum finds this useful!

Day Five...

I'm still here...haven't faded away...still hungry...

Had zero energy last night and was sorely tempted to eat lots of bread and/or sugar but didn't, thanks to fiancé keeping guard in the kitchen, ha!

Much better today, hurrah, here's hoping I keep it up!

Diet. Ugh.

Skiet
Day one - still a pleasant enough person - will keep you updated, hehe

This diet involves low-GI food, no junk or booze for a week or two in order to kick-start the weight reduction, and an increase of exercise. I only work out twice a week at the moment so I'm upping that to four times a week and just trying to eat more sensibly. I'm aware that if I cut out too much I'll only start to lose muscle mass in addition to flabby-pounds, so I'm staying conscious of my protein intake. Just making sure it's not in the form of burgers and/or cheese ;) hehe. I'm also aware that if I'm too draconian I will lose interest, come off the regime (which is meant to be a life-change but seriously...I love good food) and pile all that weight back on again.

Please don't judge me, it's not just because I'm getting married next year that I'm doing this. I've lost a stone over the last 12 months and having a day out to plan for is giving me the nudge to lose the other stone. I'm sorry I don't know what that is in kilo's off the top of my head...


In other news...
We may have found our venue, spotted a rather nice place over the weekend, very relaxed and flexible, didn't make you think that they churn out weddings like they're on a conveyor belt at the weekend, very nice indeed. It's a restaurant with a big garden, so - place for large tent attached to kitchen. Bingo... Date we want isn't free so we may just change our date. Our at-ease flexibility was met with much-relieved smiles by staff member who showed us around.

Ass Kicking

So, I have just been given a virtual kick up the rear end by me ma, who is fed up with me not speaking of or doing anything about our day out next year. She is worried that we won't get what we want and that's a valid argument, only we have no specific wishlist.

If one of his churches isn't available, that's cool, we'll go to another and see if they're free. Or we'll get married later/earlier that same day. Oooh, wouldn't a really old style "wedding breakfast" be fun, instead of hanging around worrying about hair, make-up and nails until 2pm?!

I certainly think so. Plus, not going with the regid timetable set out by a hotel who churns out weekly wedding parties like they're on a production line, means that we can be flexible around everything on the day. Oh goodie!

I'm interested in everything in reverse, actually. I'm looking at invitations and placecards and rings and cakes, when I have no details to print on the invitation, no tables for the placecards and no party to have the cake at yet, haha!! I'm just a little bit nuts I think. Oh well. Thank goodness he likes the crazy.



Moral of this post: ass-kicking duly noted, will be actioned presently. Those wedding planner folder thingies my lovely friends got me almost a year ago will be dusted off this evening. Yes Mum!

Alternative Wedding Ideas

Wedding invitation:
Creativity and patience - this is the result!




Going down the aisle:
Oh how embarrassing, not on your LIFE!! I couldn't do it if I couldn't dance...and I can't, so I won't...




First Dance:
From Dirty Dancing, now this is class!




Guests havin' a bop: Now an MJ tribute...




And now for some cake:

I love being engaged

Sshhh, don't say that too loudly, it's a bit of a taboo. Can't be saying it out loud at all in fact, in case my non-partnered-up friends hear me and take offence or judge me or think I'm being mean to them.

I'm quite sensitive about that actually. I recoiled in horror at the weekend when one of my old pals just kept going on and on and on about her wedding plans, when you could see sad eyes on a few heads around her. Girls who've been in recent breakups or have those long term boyfriends who just can't commit. In one way I know the other B2B wants to talk about it but in another... You wouldn't go on and on about how great your mum was if a friend had recently lost hers would you? Hmmm. Maybe that's a bad comparison but that's how I feel about it.

Secretly...I've always had this romantic notion that a long engagement would be wonderful. The pre-engagement era is nice, you're very close as a couple and it's lovely and you might even live together! But engagement is just the business. It feels different. Talking to a good friend who had been with her beau a long time and finally bought a ring, she kept saying "why didn't we do this years ago?" It feels great. Once we're married it'll be all grown up stuff so I'm privately quite content with the long run up to this day-long-party business.

I love being engaged! It's such a nice time in life. The excitement, the expectation, the sparkle... Went to a wedding recently, my first as a fiancée. It was nice, different, I'm not sure how to describe it. I felt more excited for the bride and could see and understand the true sparkle in her eyes. She glowed! Just genuine happiness all over her face, it was magical.

My favourite photograph of the day is one where the bride is hugging the groom from behind, resting her head on his back and he is standing there with his arms hugging hers. They look so peaceful and content, they had no idea I was taking the snap and were just relaxing at the edge of the party, taking it all in. I hope to have lots of quiet beautiful moments like that when we have our special day.

For the moment, I will just keep enjoying the engagement and keep my twinklie happy thoughts to myself.